


Without (A)

by shannyfish



Series: Without [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Charlie Stark, F/M, Family, Future Fic, Gen, Helicarrier, Malibu Mansion, Medical Trauma, Memory Loss, POV Pepper Potts, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Sophia Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 10:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 39,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's an accident in the field and Tony loses his memory.  Tony hasn't just lost his memory, but a good chunk of his life.  It isn't just all that he overcame or being Iron Man...but that he can't remember his family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Perfect Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arihimew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arihimew/gifts).



> Okay, so I promised I would write this (actually both versions) and I shall! It just might be slow going! :D And hopefully people are still reading!

Title: Without (For Arihimew)  
Author: Shannon – shannyfish  
Disclaimer: Iron Man does not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: There's an accident in the field and Tony loses his memory. Tony hasn't just lost his memory, but a good chunk of his life. It isn't just all that he overcame or being Iron Man...but that he can't remember his family.  
Warning: Two storylines at once  
Author's Note: Okay, since I couldn’t choose exactly WHICH story I wanted to do, this ends up being a sort of “choose your own adventure” story or just two stories depending on how you want to read it.

Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at shannyfish11 (dot) blogspot (dot) com

 

. . .

“'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?”  
~ “Clarity” by Zedd

 

. . .

 

The sound of JARVIS’ morning wake-up call woke her, but she really didn’t want to move. A lot of mornings were like this. The first three months had been the worst. Although she didn’t get the stereotypical morning sickness, her first trimester hit her head-on with immense fatigue. She was in her second trimester now, but she had been pushing herself too much the last few days.

“Morning,” Tony whispered sleepily. He moved closer and kissed her temple. They’d been spooning and she’d yet to turn to face him.

“Is it the weekend yet?”

“Big day today,” Tony reminded. “Big week…”

And he was right. There was a lot going on and a lot that would be happening over the next several days. Pepper rolled over to face him. She scooted closer and wrapped her arms around him. She was so glad that they were able to wake up each morning like this. Even when she felt too tired to get up, Tony always reminded her of how beautiful their life was and it was enough to get out of bed.

“I can’t believe how your body does this,” Tony said in amazement as his hands settled on her tummy. It was only when she was naked that she really showed at all. It was how her other pregnancies had gone as well. She looked fairly normal until she hit six months and then it was like the baby belly grew overnight. He looked up at her face. “Boy or girl? What do you think?”

Pepper just smiled at him. She looked the look on his face, there was so much love...and pride...and wonder. “We’ll find out soon enough,” she told him with a small laugh and then leaned in to kiss him. “Be patient.”

“I’m just really looking forward to this.”

She grinned at him. Today was her twenty week appointment and the ultrasound where they’d hopefully learn the gender. “We could always be surprised,” she teased.

“Those hormones make you talk crazy sometimes,” he replied good naturedly. He leaned in and kissed her. “I know that the most important thing is for the baby to be healthy, but I kind of like to know what to expect.”

“A child that’s brilliant and too headstrong for everyone’s own good?”

“Sounds oddly familiar,” Tony said with a grin. After a moment, he sighed. “Come on, long day...though you know I wouldn’t mind staying in bed all day.”

Pepper continued to grin. “Go start the shower and I’ll be there in a minute.” He got out of bed and she watched him go. A moment later, the sound of the shower could be heard. Slowly, she got up and reminded herself that things were about to get easier on her.

When she’d been pregnant with her first child, she’d worked right up until she went into labor. She’d been absolutely exhausted and had suffered some complications because of the stress she’d been under. After that, she and Tony made an agreement that all future pregnancies would have her work as long as she wanted up until her twentieth week. After that, she’d step down as CEO of Stark Industries for the remainder of her pregnancy and postpartum time. It was silly really, Tony had always insisted she take the CEO job title, but they both did the same workload.

Pepper padded across the bedroom and joined Tony in the warm shower. They took longer than normal, just enjoying the water and each other. Since neither of them was going into the office they could take their time, just as long as they were on time for their appointment. Pepper hated being late, she preferred to be early whenever possible.

“You could have a spa day,” Tony suggested as they finally exited the shower and wrapped up in the plush towels. “Do something relaxing.”

“Maybe next week--”

“Pep--”

“It’s not like I can do it today,” she explained as she moved to retrieve her clothing choices from the closet. “We have the ultrasound.”

“That takes an hour.”

Pepper sighed. “We still have to do certain things before I’m officially on leave, you know.”

“I know that Wednesday is your official last day, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something fun before.”

“There’s still so much to do.”

“Do I get a list?” he asked as he walked towards her, he was already partially dressed in his suit.

She smiled. “I always have a list for you.” Pepper buttoned up her blouse and wondered if they’d get through the list before Wednesday. It really didn’t give them much time. “We still have all of that paperwork that’s on my tablet, we have that presentation for the board to complete and go over, we have to pull the boxes out of storage, we have our appointment today, and you promised me that I could take one more flight as Rescue until sometime next year.”

“Pepper--”

“Don’t argue!” she countered quickly. She knew exactly what he was going to complain about. “You promised!”

“But you’re five months pregnant,” Tony argued anyways. 

“You know I just want to fly around for a little bit,” she told him. “You promised.” Pepper already knew the armor would still fit and she’d had a feeling that Tony would throw a fit about this promise.

“Be reasonable!”

“Keep your promises!”

Tony sighed. “Can we do it tomorrow? I’d like Rhodey nearby...just in case.”

“That’s fine,” she agreed with a grin. Pepper sat down on the bed and slipped in to her heels. She really wouldn’t be wearing these much for a few months. She would miss them though.

Tony was sitting on the edge of the bed with a tablet and she just watched him for a moment. She could tell he was deep in thought. He’d learned some things as well since they’d gotten married. Pepper got up and disappeared into the bathroom to do her hair and makeup quickly.

“Okay...so, tomorrow we’ll take the suits out,” he called. “This weekend, I’ll pull out the boxes and other stuff from storage. Monday we finish paperwork...and then that’ll just leave the board presentation.”

“Sounds good,” she told him as she secured her hair up and back into a bun. She was far too hot with her hair down, but had been avoiding cutting it short. So, it went up at all times to keep her from overheating. Pepper loved it when Tony was organized and it wasn’t her job to keep everything together. It let her breathe and it tended to mean that he’d stick to it if he was the one who organized things.

 

. . .

 

“Are you sure you want to know?” the doctor asked.

Pepper nodded. With Sophia, it had taken three ultrasounds before she’d cooperated. “If the baby is letting you.” She turned to look at Tony. “You want to know, right?”

He was smiling big and bright. “I’m happy either way as long as the baby is healthy,” Tony told her. “I’m pretty sure that Sophia and Charlie are expecting to know the gender though.”

And he was right. They’d promised to inform their other children once they finished with the appointment. “I want to know,” Pepper told the doctor. If she was going to be taking off of work, at least she could spend the time preparing the nursery. It was nice having a colorset and gender appropriate clothing. She had Sophia in dresses almost every outfit when she was a baby.

“I like being able to figure out names without having a girl, boy, or neutral set,” Tony told the doctor.

“What have you come up with so far?” the doctor asked as he moved the wand around.

“Nothing yet,” Pepper said. “We were waiting. We did that with Sophia since at one point she didn’t seem to want to let us know she was a girl until she was born.”

“I think we found out about a month before Pepper delivered,” Tony said. 

The doctor smiled and pointed to the monitor. “There’s your son,” he announced. “He looks healthy. The correct size. Everything looks normal, I found all of the organs and limbs.”

“That’s all that matters,” Tony said before dropping a kiss on Pepper’s forehead.

She smiled up at him and squeezed his hand. Pepper was so happy to hear that their baby was healthy, but it was nice knowing what direction to go in as far as names and nursery themes went.

“I’ll have the nurse hand you the DVD and pictures once you’re ready to head out,” the doctor said. He left the picture of their son on the screen and headed for the door. “Take your time.”

And they took a few minutes. It was just this amazing moment where it was almost like they got to meet their son. “You know we could do Tony Jr.,” Pepper teased. 

“You say that every time,” Tony pointed out. “And not Howard or Edward either…”

She smiled, as much as she enjoyed carrying down family names it never was a priority of Tony. “We have time to find the perfect name…”

“How about Jarvis?”

Pepper sighed, but couldn’t hide her smile. “You wanted to name the dog that.”

“It’s still a good name.”

“It’s still a name that would get confusing,” she pointed out. The last thing she needed was to be calling their son and having the AI respond.

Pepper got up and fixed her blouse. She moved over to Tony, who already was holding her coat and she slipped into it before picking up her purse off of the chair. 

“Robots for the nursery?” Tony tried.

“You say that every time.”

“You shoot me down every time,” he pointed out.

She smiled and put her hands on his upper arms. Pepper leaned in and kissed him. “Maybe,” she promised.

“Is that the maybe that means ‘no’ or actually means ‘maybe’?”

She just smiled at him. “You’ll just have to find out.” She was so happy and though she knew it was going to be hard giving up working again. Pepper was just so used to it and it never seemed like ramping down was possible with their jobs. It would all be more than worth it though.   
There were times when she strongly considered being a stay-at-home mom, but then she realized that they’d never see Tony and he’d be overly stressed when they did. There was just too many things that stood in the way of being able to do it. Plus, she’d been working like crazy all her life, she didn’t know if she would really remain sane being a stay-at-home mom. 

“Do you want to tell the kids or should I?” Tony asked. “Or should we torture them and make them wait until we go out to dinner?”

“I didn’t know we were going out,” Pepper told him. It wasn’t often that they all went out together. They’d struggled to keep the kids out of the media and public as much as humanly possible. She was always their advocate on needing to have ‘normal’ lives since Tony really didn’t understand the meaning of the word. 

“I made the reservation when we found out the date of the appointment,” Tony informed her. “The place closes to the public today at five and our reservation is at seven.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” she told him. When they did go out, they normally just made sure that they had a private room and only went to places where they could get one.

“I did it for Charlie,” Tony said.

Pepper rolled her eyes as they exited the room. A nurse handed them a DVD and a couple of copies of the ultrasound pictures. “Thank you,” Pepper said sweetly.

“Congratulations,” the nurse told them both as she escorted them down the hall to the side door where Happy would be waiting. 

“Thank you,” Tony replied with a smile. He took her arm with his as they walked.

She smiled at him and teased. “Charlie might end up getting a bit jealous.”

“The baby’s not even here yet.”

“Just preparing you.”

 

. . .

 

“Happy already knows,” Sophia complained as they got out of the car at the restaurant. “Why do we have to wait?”

“Don’t you know that I have to know everything?” Happy teased. 

Charlie grabbed onto Happy’s jacket. “Uncle Happy is coming to dinner too, right?”

“Of course he is,” Pepper said. When Happy looked surprised, Pepper turned to Tony. “Why is Happy always so surprised to be included? Were you being mean to him again?” Pepper teased. Charlie obviously didn’t understand that she was merely teasing Tony because she heard a gasp from her child. 

“Dad! Be nice to Happy!” Charlie said.

Tony looked over at her. “Are you trying to start a mutiny before dinner?”

Pepper smiled brightly at him as Happy started to walk the kids in. When she was first pregnant with Sophia, Happy had complained about having to shuttle a five year old around to ballet and soccer. Happy actually complained now if he didn’t get to see enough of the kids and he protected them as if they were his own. Pepper moved to Tony’s side and wrapped an arm around her husband before they followed. “You know it can never be boring for us.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to start a fire.”

“Are you sure you can handle having a third child?”

“We’re done after this, right?” Tony asked, mostly serious.

“Doctor had said unless we tried right after I have this one that it probably wouldn’t be a great idea. There would be a higher chance of complications,” Pepper told him. In truth, she really wasn’t sure how she felt about having a fourth. Their lives were so busy and even though they had a great life, she was thinking that having three healthy children was more than enough to ask for. 

“We have time to talk about it,” Tony told her as his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her around to face him. “But not tonight.”

Pepper leaned in to kiss him. Though it was good to bring these things up early rather than later, tonight was to celebrate their healthy baby boy that they’d be welcoming into the world soon enough.

 

. . .

 

Pepper woke up excited and had been fully looking forward to her day out. This would be her last time out as Rescue for at least a year. She didn’t mind, but she wanted to go out and just fly before the hiatus. “Tony,” she whispered and shook him a bit. Rhodey wasn’t going to be there for a few hours still, but she wanted to get the day rolling.

“I really don’t think this is a smart idea,” Tony grumbled.

She sprang from bed and padded to the shower. She wasn’t going to let anything or anyone keep her in bed or distract her from her plans for the day. Pepper had thought that Tony would join her in the shower, but he never did. Instead, she found him still in bed once she emerged. She wondered if he thought that maybe she’d change her mind if he moped and pouted enough.

That wasn’t going to happen.

After she was dressed, she found both of her red-headed children eating breakfast with Happy. They were both pretty self-sufficient, even at six and ten. “Do you both have everything?” Pepper asked as she approached.

Charlie patted the paper next to the bowl of cereal. “Dad said he’d help me with the science fair, but he didn’t sign my permission.”

Pepper took the pen that was already set to go and signed the form. She knew that Tony was more than happy to use it as a new excuse for tinkering with Charlie. She knew it would be good for the both of them especially with the new baby on the way. Charlie needed to know that things weren’t going to drastically change. 

She moved to retrieve fresh fruit, yogurt, and granola so that she could have breakfast with her children. She didn’t normally get to do it since she was normally leaving for work when they were getting up. It would be nice to be able to do that and spend more time with them for the next few months. “What are you reading?” she asked as she finally sat down.

Sophia and Charlie were vastly different. Sophia took more after Pepper and it showed. She dressed quite feminine and always wore bows or something sparkly in her hair. She was always either reading or playing sudoku. Charlie, on the other hand, was a lot like Tony. This morning Charlie was dressed in overalls with robot pins and loved to be down in the workshop with Tony.

“Jane Eyre, unabridged,” Sophia responded as she continued to eat and read. “Mr. Allen said that there would be some benefit to reading some books that are more age appropriate, but they’d be really easy.” Sophia looked up at her briefly. “You know I don’t like easy books.”

Pepper smiled. None of them liked anything that was too easy. “I know, but perhaps Mr. Allen has a valid reason.”

“It might kill brain cells,” Sophia countered.

Happy shook his head. “I swear...these two are ten and six and already smarter than I am.” He took a bite of toast and then spoke up again. “I’m not going to be able to teach them anything.”

“They don’t know how to drive,” Pepper pointed out.

“I understand the motions,” Sophia offered without looking up from her book.

Happy pointed to Charlie. “That one’s going to have a car with JARVIS driving it. Or it’ll fly…or something else that’s way too smart.”

“I don’t really want to learn how to drive,” Sophia told him. “I prefer you driving us around.”

Pepper could tell that wasn’t quite what Happy wanted to hear. She really wasn’t sure what to tell him that would make him feel better. She and Tony had made sure that Happy had been included as much as possible because he really was their family.

“You have to teach me to karate chop someone...just in case I need to save Sophia from a bad guy,” Charlie spoke up.

“It’s not karate that I know, but I can definitely teach you how to defend yourself.” Pepper wasn’t sure about that and glanced Happy’s way. “When your mom says we can do that,” he added slowly.

“The last thing we need is you expelled for fighting,” Pepper said as she eyed her youngest child. “I already get called about you talking in class.”

“Sometimes the teacher is wrong,” Charlie complained.

“I agree,” Sophia spoke up as she turned the page in her book.

“And most of the time it’s easy and boring,” Charlie went on.

“Agreed,” Sophia said again. She closed her book and looked across at Pepper. “Can we please be home schooled?”

Pepper just stared at her children. “Have you been talking to your father again?”

“No,” they replied in unison.

It was odd, but Pepper knew it was true. They got bored in school, but their teachers and counselors were afraid of advancing them too much. There were social things that they’d only learn in circles of their own peers. She sighed and looked from their blue eyes over to Happy. “Help me out here,” she practically begged.

“Hey, I’m on their side…” Happy told her. “No school means no dating,” Happy pointed out. “I think that alone is worth home schooling them.”

“Thanks, Happy,” Pepper muttered.

“Mom?” Charlie spoke up.

“Yes?”

“Can the baby brother like sports and not robots please?”

Pepper stared at Charlie. “Your brother can like whatever he wants. Your father and I will still have just as much time for all of you.”

“We’ll see,” Charlie said.

 

. . .

 

“Are you sure about this, Pepper?” Rhodey asked.

“Yes,” she said. “And if we run into trouble, we’re not far from home and I have you two.”

“I still don’t like it,” Tony grumped before his faceplate snapped into position. 

“I’ll be fine,” Pepper repeated before both hers and Rhodey’s snapped shut as well.

They set out and headed out and away from the mansion and Malibu. It was such a nice feeling, being free to just fly. Pepper always felt extremely relaxed when it was like this… No world to save, no company to manage, just the sky…

They’d kept it over the Pacific Ocean, which was fine. It was beautiful and there were less flights for them to be mindful of. The water was beautiful and it was just that much more peaceful.

“Time to turn around, Pep,” Tony said. 

She knew he was right. She’d been playing music that matched her flight experience, calm and quiet. “I know,” she replied a little reluctantly. She’d miss this, but it wouldn’t be forever…like everything else that would be put on hold. They turned around and started to head back.

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	2. A Chain of Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I promised I would continue this. I finally figured out which one of my comp books had the beginning of this second chapter in it along with the story timeline for A & B in it. I figured that no one would mind if I post this even if it's short. It's something new, right? For those of you who don't know, my one shoulder and the other wrist has been screwed up...so it's been taking me forever to write/type for any fandom. I'm also on twitter, so feel free to follow me @shannyfish

They were halfway home when their HUDs started to beep and JARVIS’ warning was in their ears. 

“Unidentified suit, inbound,” JARVIS announced.

This was exactly why Tony hadn’t wanted her out for her last flight and she knew she’d hear about it. But she had Iron Man and War Machine there if she needed firepower. 

“Let’s stay tight,” Tony’s voice said.

“Relaying scan of incoming unidentified suit,” JARVIS announced before the suit schematics came up on the HUD. JARVIS had already highlighted the weapons system in red. And there was a lot of red.

Pepper definitely wasn’t going to be too helpful in a firefight, plus she knew Tony was going to want her as far away from there was possible.

Tony’s voice filled her ears. “Unidentified suit, please identify yourself,” he announced. He held his position, so she and Rhodey did as well.

They waited, but there was no verbal response.

“His weapons systems are arming,” JARVIS announced. 

“Rhodey, take Pepper and run,” Tony said.

“Tony—“ she started to argue.

“Go!”

She didn’t argue, but took off with Rhodey right with her. “JARVIS, what’s happening back there?” she asked. They were nearly halfway to the carrier and Pepper was filled with worry.

“The Iron Man armor has sustained heavy damage,” JARVIS reported. “Armor durability has dropped to forty-seven percent and Mr. Stark is not responding.”

“Rhodey! You have to go back for Tony,” Pepper said. “JARVIS, relay information you just gave me.”

“Already sent, Ms. Potts.”

“I promised Tony,” Rhodey argued.

“We’re nearly there,” she pointed out. She knew that Tony needed the War Machine more than she did. The helicarrier was expecting her and War Machine could track her, so they would know in a minute if she wasn’t where she was supposed to be.

“Let me know when you’re inside,” Rhodey said before he broke away from their current flight path.

“I will,” Pepper responded. “Go make sure my husband is safe.” She watched on the HUD as Rhodey’s dot made way towards Tony’s and the unidentified armor. She’d be safely inside the helicarrier in moments, but she really wanted to know that Tony was okay. JARVIS had said that he wasn’t responding, but did that mean there was something malfunctioning with the suit or had he been knocked out? Pepper just didn’t know. But she started to beat herself up about having given Tony such a hard time about having to go out as Rescue one last time. It had been selfish, she just hoped that Tony didn’t pay the price for her selfishness.

“Rhodey, I’m inside,” Pepper said the moment she entered the bay of the helicarrier. She hadn’t even landed yet, but she was still safe just the same.

Rhodey’s voice echoed inside of her helmet. It was calm, but worried. “Pep, I’m bringing him in… I couldn’t even get the suit to autopilot back… I’m dragging him in—”

Pepper turned immediately at that. “I’ll come back and help—“

“No! You stay there!” Rhodey replied quickly. “I got him… Plus, I don’t know where that other suit went… You’re to stay put! Stay safe! Have medical waiting…and maybe a hack saw.”

Pepper knew that he was right though. Tony wouldn’t want her out there endangering herself, but their unborn son as well. “Okay,” she whispered and her armor clad feet finally touched down. She removed her helmet, let it drop to the ground in a clatter, and then moved towards the door to hit the intercom.

The three of them had worked missions with SHIELD before, so being on the helicarrier was nothing new. Any of them being injured wasn’t new either, but she hated it every time. “We need medical,” Pepper announced while trying to remain as calm as possible.

She moved back towards where she knew Tony and Rhodey would be coming in. She paced nervously and just hoped that Tony’s system had been knocked out and he was really okay inside the suit. Pepper tried to remain calm, but the worst case scenarios were running through her mind. She couldn’t help, but to worry.

It seemed like forever, but eventually War Machine was dragging Iron Man into the bay. Iron Man was dropped unceremoniously with a loud metal thud. Normally Pepper would have scolded Rhodey, but right now it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Tony was alive in that suit. She immediately tried to pry the helmet free.

It didn’t budge.

“Tony!” she screamed as she tried to pry the helmet off again. “Rhodey!” she shouted for help.

It wasn’t only Rhodey who came to help. The medical team was hovering behind them, but Natasha and Clint were also there with engineers and equipment. Natasha was pulling her back and immediately the engineers were swarming the armor.

“Out of the suit,” Natasha told her.

She didn’t argue even though she thought about it. The Rescue armor opened and Pepper stepped out. She was trying to see if they’d gotten Tony out, but she was being looked after and pulled away by medical. “I can’t—I’m fine—“ she kept trying to tell them. The medical team didn’t seem to be listening to her.

“He’s going to be fine,” Natasha said. 

“I have to see him—“

“How far along are you?” Natasha suddenly asked.

Her pregnancy wasn’t a secret. She didn’t understand why Natasha was asking her this and she just stared at her for a moment. “Five months,” she blurted out a bit confused.

“You and that baby need to be checked out,” Natasha told her.

Pepper shook her head. “I didn’t engage—“

“Still.”

“Tasha, I—“

“They’ll pull him out soon enough,” she said with confidence. “And you and that baby are the first two things in this world that he’s going to ask about.”

“Fine,” Pepper whispered reluctantly. She really didn’t want to leave, but at the same time, she knew it was what Tony would want. She turned and started out of the bay with a medic.

“Pep—“

The voice was faint, but it was there and it was his. She turned around and was ready to run back to him, to be by his side. Natasha put an arm around her. “They’re going to need the space,” Natasha told her.

“She’s safe, Tony,” Rhodey said.

Pepper listened as she and Natasha slowly made their way out. She was soaking it all in.

“She’s going to medical just to be safe.”

 

. . .

 

“The doctor said that you checked out fine,” Fury said.

Pepper had been ignoring all of them. Here she was, concerned about her husband and no one could bring themselves to speak of anyone else but her. It was irritating, frustrating, and infuriating. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she watched the SHIELD surgeons work on Tony from the observation room. No one had thought it was a good idea, but Pepper didn’t care what they thought. She was going to make sure that everything was being done by Tony.

They were in there for hours. In all honesty, Pepper wasn’t even sure who else had stayed in the room. Or who had stayed for so long. When they finally moved Tony from the operating room and the doctor moved into the observation room, that was the only time that her gaze moved to any one else in the room.

“Mr. Stark had internal bleeding, but it’s under control,” the doctor said. “He has a number of bruises and broken bones, but those will all heal—“

Pepper didn’t like the pause. “Then what are you worried about?”

“He has a severe concussion and I’m afraid that there may be additional trauma…” the doctor said. “I’ve ordered additional tests, but honestly…time will tell…”

She just stared at the doctor. Tony would be okay, she told herself. Tony was always practically blowing himself up…in the field (and at home)…he’d be fine. He was always fine. “Can I see him?”

“Of course,” the doctor said. 

When everyone finally left her alone with Tony, she broke down. He looked absolutely broken. She couldn’t even remember how many times she’d thought that she’d lost Tony…or that she had and he’d been brought back by some kind of miracle. Tony was strong and stubborn. Normally, he wouldn’t be down for long.

This time, she didn’t know… 

She couldn’t lose him though.

Pepper didn’t know how she was supposed to go home. Charlie and Sophia would want answers. She didn’t know what to tell them. The doctor didn’t sound confident. She couldn’t go home and tell her kids that everything was going to be all right and that their daddy would be coming home soon. 

Her hand fell to her belly and she ran it around in a slow circle as tears continued to fall. She was carrying their son. Pepper had never imagined living in a world without Tony, not since he’d come back from Afghanistan… She’d never imagined raising three children alone…

“Tony,” she whispered as her voice broke. She took his hand and held it between both of hers. She sobbed for a few minutes as she knelt by his bedside. “Come home,” she begged. 

 

. . .

 

TBC…


	3. That's Not What I Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me @shannyfish
> 
> See, I'm still working on this! And I plan on doing "Without" (B) as well! I'm actually also pondering doing an "Iron Man"/"Arrow" crossover fic, which could be fun!

“You need to go home.”

She had heard this since they’d let her see Tony. She hadn’t left his side the entire time. She couldn’t bring herself to do so. She just wanted him to wake up. She wanted him to tell her that he was okay. She wanted him to tell her that he forgave her. Pepper stared at him and kept reminding herself that they’d made it through so much, Tony would make it through this.

“I can’t,” she finally spoke up.

“Happy just called… Charlie won’t go back to sleep. Woke up with a nightmare. Charlie wants you, Pepper…”

Pepper knew that if Tony was awake, he’d tell her to go to the kids. He’d tell her to go home and take care of the kids. She knew that. Tony was getting the best medical care possible on the carrier. He was in good hands. She just didn’t want to leave him. 

She was quiet as she spoke. “I’m not taking Rescue back out,” she said. Normally, when they would come and go from the carrier, it would be exclusively using the suits. She couldn’t do that. The Rescue armor was in perfect condition, but she was terrified. 

“Natasha has already volunteered to take you down and stay at the house and fly you up in the morning,” Rhodey told her.

Studying Tony’s features, she wished that he’d just wake up. She just wanted to hear him talk to her for a minute. She wiped the tears away and got up. She turned towards Rhodey. “You’ll stay with him?”

“I’m not going to go anywhere,” Rhodey said. “And if he so much as twitches, I’ll let you know.” He reached out and put his hands on her shoulders. Rhodey stared at her for a long moment. “He’s going to be okay… You know that… I think he’s injured himself worse knocking himself around testing the boots of the armor.” 

He was right, she knew. 

“Thank you,” she told him. Pepper knew that she wouldn’t sleep well, but she’d feel better knowing that someone that she knew and trusted was with Tony. 

“Natasha’s right outside,” Rhodey told her. He pulled her into his arms and held her for a moment. Pepper struggled not to cry. It was hard. She wanted so badly to just break down, but she couldn’t. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before finally releasing her. “It’s going to be okay,” he said again and she could tell that he believed it.

Pepper left the room reluctantly; she’d kept looking back in hopes that Tony had woken up when she wasn’t looking. He hadn’t. Everything looked and sounded the same. She pushed herself to leave the room though and go with Natasha. She needed to go home. Her kids needed her. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

That was the first time in a long time that Pepper slept in their bed without Tony. It wasn’t only that it was without Tony, but that it was filled with her children. At first when she’d arrived home, she’d managed to get Charlie to fall asleep in their bed, but then Sophia had snuck in after. Pepper didn’t mind though, it felt good to not feel alone in that big bed.

Pepper was restless though. She kept waking up and checking the clock and checking her phone. She’d toss and turn and try to hug Tony’s pillow in order to get through the night. She was so worried about Tony and she just couldn’t bring herself to knowing that everything would be okay. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

She’d had an awkward moment that morning with the kids. They’d opted to stay home with Happy. He’d told her that it was okay and that he was going to have this fantastic day planned for them while she was up on the carrier. Pepper was so thankful that Happy was part of their family. 

“You know, Rhodey would have said something—“

“I know, Tasha,” Pepper said slowly. “But I need to be there. Rhodey needs to be relieved, so that he can sleep…” 

Pepper knew that Natasha meant well, but right now she just wanted silence unless it was a doctor speaking to her…or unless it was Tony. Nothing was going to be worth hearing in her world until her husband was speaking again. He had to be okay. He had to. 

“I just didn’t want you to feel like you have to leave the kids unnecessarily…”

“I have to be able to tell them that I saw their daddy and that he’s going to be okay,” Pepper told her. “I can’t just sit in our home and think about Tony… It’s better this way…” Pepper knew that the kids would have loved to be up there to be with their daddy, but even if Pepper could get the okay for it…she didn’t think it was a good idea. 

“Well, let’s hope that once he hears you that he’ll wake up so that you both can go home.”

She just hoped it was that simple. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It was nearly time for Natasha to return and collect her, so that she could return home. Pepper couldn’t believe how long the day had just drug on. It was far too hard to be there, but she stayed anyways. She’d told Rhodey to rest up, since he’d agreed to stay nights there so that she could be at home with the kids. 

“Pep.”

Pepper had thought that she’d imagined it at first. She turned and stared at Tony. His eyes were closed and he looked no different. She opened her mouth to say his name and then stopped. Pepper’s mouth closed and she returned to staring at a random spot on the wall. She’d almost brought a book or a tablet in order to work on Stark Industries work that Tony should be doing, but she had ultimately decided that there was no way that her attention would truly be on either task.

“Pep.”

That time she knew that she hadn’t hallucinated. “Tony?”

“I think…I think I—“

“You’re okay,” she said quickly as she flew out of her chair and had her hand on his. “You have a concussion—“

“I think I drank too much…”

Pepper frowned. “Don’t you remember what happened?”

“Not…really…” Tony’s eyes were open now. He shut his eyes again and groaned. “How many women were there?”

She couldn’t keep her mouth closed and she pushed herself back a step from the bed. What the hell was he saying? Was it just the concussion? Pepper tried to think of the right things to ask. “Tony, this isn’t funny…”

“What’s not funny?” he asked as his head swung to the side to look at him. “Whoa! You’re huge! When did that happen?! How did that happen?!”

Pepper was about to tell him that he wasn’t funny when she realized that he was being serious. She could see it in his eyes. He wasn’t just messing with her or trying to be inappropriately funny. “To—Tony, what do you remember?”

“Not…much.”

“I mean… Of our life?”

“Our?”

Pepper frowned. 

“We have that weapons demonstration next week,” Tony told her. “Where is Obie? What kind of hospital is this place? Please tell me it’s not rehab… I don’t need rehab… Don’t give me that face, Pepper…”

Tears fell from her eyes without her permission. “Oh God, I—I’m sorry… I know it’s not your fault,” she blabbered. Pepper waved to one of the nurses to come in when she saw one walk within her line of sight. “That was years ago,” she blurted out. “You have a severe concussion…maybe it’s worse than the doctor had said it would be.”

“Years?” Tony questioned and he looked like he thought she was kidding.

This wasn’t the Tony that she loved and married. This was the Tony Stark that she remembered wanting to smack sense into on a daily basis. “Tony!” she yelled at him. “This isn’t a joke!” The hormones were killing her right now, she hadn’t wanted to be so emotional. 

The doctor entered a moment later. “How are you feeling Mr. Stark?”

“My assistant’s lost it,” Tony accused as he pointed towards her.

Pepper turned away from him, unable to deal with him at that very moment. She couldn’t believe that she’d wanted only to hear his voice and she got this…she got a Tony who didn’t know anything… This was the Tony that hadn’t grown up. This wasn’t her Tony. 

“Your wife has been here at your side—“ the doctor started to say.

“She’s got you in on this joke, too, huh?” Tony asked and laughed.

Pepper turned and noticed the look from the doctor. He didn’t seem to believe it either. “We’re married,” she told him as she approached the bed once more. She showed him her ring and then grabbed his hand. Pepper made sure that he saw the ring on his hand. Wearing a wedding ring was very unlike the Tony Stark that he seemed to be right now. “We have two children. Sophia and Charlie,” she told him. Pepper placed her hands on her belly. “We’re expecting our third.” She didn’t think that she needed to go into Iron Man or any of that…it would be far more confusing than what she’d just hit him with.

Tony looked between her and the doctor. She wondered if he was just trying to gauge what was being told to him or if he was in shock. “What?”

“There was an accident,” the doctor said. “We thought that it was just a concussion, but there might be damage…or trauma that we didn’t expect. We’re still waiting for some results to come in.”

“We’re married?” Tony asked her.

Pepper nodded. 

“I married my assistant?”

She couldn’t tell if he liked the idea or if it confused him. “I’m not your assistant anymore,” Pepper told him. “I haven’t been for a while… I run Stark Industries.”

“I thought that was my job.”

The truth was that they were both in charge, but Tony always let her be the one in charge. “We’re a team… It hadn’t always been that way.”

“How do I know this really isn’t some elaborate joke?” Tony asked slowly.

Pepper sighed. “Rhodey should be here soon.”

“Rhodey’s here?”

“Yes,” she told him. “We could patch JARVIS in. You could come down to the house…”

“Where’s Happy?”

“With the kids, at home.”

“What? Is he the nanny now?”

Pepper stared at him. “No…” she said slowly. “But he’s family…and he loves our kids.”

“JARVIS is in the hospital?”

“You’re on the SHIELD helicarrier, Mr. Stark,” the doctor told him.

Closing her eyes for a moment, Pepper knew that he wouldn’t understand. She opened them again and turned to the doctor. “Could you get Rhodey, please?”

“Of course,” the doctor said before leaving.

She turned back to Tony. “SHIELD?” he asked.

“It’s a really, really, really long story,” Pepper told him. “I’m really hoping that you remember it all so that I don’t have to tell it to you.” She really hoped that he remembered their life. She had no idea how she would cope if he didn’t. 

“We really have two point five kids?” Tony asked.

“Yes.”

“Dog?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“You’ve been pushing for one, but you like being in your workshop too much.”

“Good to know that some things don’t change,” Tony said.

“You and Charlie are normally down there until I have to come down there and threaten you both into coming upstairs,” Pepper told him. “Charlie hasn’t been down there since your accident.”

“I take it that Sophia is a girly girl?” 

“You usually use the term ‘princess’,” Pepper told him. There wasn’t anything wrong with Sophia being more the princess while Charlie took after him. She felt like that was normal as far as kids went. “Don’t underestimate Sophia, though, she’s extremely smart.”

“And we’re married?”

“We’re married,” Pepper confirmed.

Tony made a face at her.

“I know that has to be hard for you to believe, but it’s true.”

“Who was my best man?”

“Rhodey.”

“Not Happy?”

“Happy gave me away,” Pepper told him.

“Fair enough…”

Before she had to answer anymore questions, Rhodey was walking through the door. She was saved. At least for the moment. 

“Rhodey!” Tony exclaimed.

“I knew you’d be up and giving everyone hell before too long,” Rhodey said as he approached the bed. “The doctor said you’re having some trouble remembering some things… Probably retrograde amnesia from hitting your head.”

“Sounds nasty.”

“The doctor said I might need to vouch that you’re really married to Pepper,” Rhodey said before looking at her sideways. “You have two…almost three kids…”

“We covered that,” Tony said. 

Pepper thought that he looked like he was really taking in what they were saying. She didn’t like it though. What was she supposed to do with this? How long until he recovered? Would he recover his memories? How could she take him home? He wasn’t even the man she married…and she certainly wasn’t the man who was the father of her children.

“So…this isn’t rehab?”

“No,” Rhodey responded.

“I didn’t get in a car accident from drinking?”

“Not this time,” Rhodey told him. “We were out…and there was an accident… We’re really not even sure what exactly happened.”

“Well, that’s vague…” 

“I’m sure it’s a lot, but it’s true.”

Pepper just watched him. She needed to figure out how they were going to bounce back from this. This was her fault… “I should go call Happy,” she said. She just wanted to get out of the room. She needed some space and some air. Pepper just needed someone to talk to. Happy would probably understand how much she was really internally freaking out more so than Rhodey. This was a Tony Stark that she was far too familiar with and she knew that Happy would understand in a heartbeat.

How were they going to get through this?

She couldn’t see it right now.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	4. Going Home is Never Easy

Tony wasn’t exactly sure of everything that he was supposedly not remembering, but one thing he did know was that wherever he was…he was getting the best care. It was obvious from his surroundings. Tony sat up and adjusted his body until his legs fell over the edge of the bed. Rhodey was sitting there by his bedside, fast asleep. 

He really didn’t know how to wrap his mind around this. It was all so crazy. Too crazy. Wasn’t it? And then he’d think back to some of the times he’d drank so much that he was pretty sure that he was plastered for a month straight. That had happened…a lot. He was sure that Pepper and Happy would agree that it happened far too much for their liking. 

It was his life though.

He still had some sort of life, right?

He still wasn’t sure about the life that Pepper had told him about and Rhodey had reinforced as being his life. Tony just didn’t feel like he was a person that would get married or settle down…or have kids… He was fairly sure that it was more likely that he’d have gotten arrested for sexually harassing Pepper while drunk rather than marrying her. 

Something was seriously wrong.

His so-called life was wrong.

Tony pulled the wires off of him and pulled the IV out of his arm. He was so done with the place. He wanted to go home. He was pretty sure he could go home. He groaned and then realized that he was in a hospital gown. 

“Really? You’re escaping?”

He looked up to find a beautiful redhead chastising him. He had no problem with that. He decided to dial up the charm; maybe she could get her to help him get out of there. Instead, she just seemed to be waking up Rhodey at the moment. “Shh…” he tried to hush as he put a finger up to his lips. He looked between her and Rhodey. “Don’t wake the guard…”

“So, it’s true then…you don’t remember?”

“Remember? Do I know you?” Tony questioned. “I’m fairly sure I would even remember someone as mesmerizing as you…”

“Wow…” she commented and laughed for a moment. He watched her look down and he thought that he’d really won her over. 

He was wrong.

She punched him. He hadn’t been expecting that and fell backwards onto the bed. “That’s for Pepper… Asshole…”

“What…just happened?”

Tony looked up from where he was sprawled out on the hospital bed. Rhodey was staring between him and the redhead in confusion. “I was just meeting…” he started to say and then motioned to her. 

“Natasha Romanoff,” she responded. She was smiling and looked quite pleased with herself. “I was just reminding Tony…his place…” 

“Is that what you were doing?” Tony asked as he straightened himself back up. “Next time can you give me more of a warning before you punch me?”

“No.”

Rhodey just burst out laughing.

Sure, it was hilarious to him. He wasn’t the one who got punched. “I’m really not amused.” He looked at Natasha very seriously. “Do you know who I am?”

“Far too much,” Natasha told him. Her tone told him that she was amused and yet didn’t care. 

He was Tony Stark.

Had he stopped being famous too?

That was really something that people should have mentioned sooner.

“Really? That’s it?”

“Did you expect me to swoon and then drop my clothes?”

Tony tilted his head to the side and tried to mentally undress her. He really didn’t understand where that was really a problem. He was far too used to being able to get any woman to do that for him. He could have any woman or women in the world…and he knew that. 

It was like a superpower.

Suddenly he couldn’t breathe and he realized that Natasha had just punched him in the chest. He gasped and didn’t know how much more of her beatings he could deal with.

“Maybe give him some slack,” Rhodey suggested.

“He’s seriously screwed up,” Natasha told Rhodey.

“Not his fault.”

“Fury’s got to keep him confined here. I know that Pepper wants to take him home, but—“

“Who’s Fury?” Tony asked.

Natasha ignored him. “There’s no way… Who’s going to supervise him? Keep him in line? I’d probably kill him if this is the Tony Stark he’s reverted to.”

“I’m right here,” Tony said as he waved his hand back and forth. He didn’t like being ignored. He wasn’t used to it. No one ignored Tony Stark. 

“What about Pepper? She doesn’t need the added stress. She’s already taken back on responsibility for Stark Industries.”

“She wasn’t supposed to do that,” Rhodey replied with a sigh.

He didn’t really understand any of it. “What about Obadiah?” They both just looked at him and then continued on with their conversation without so much as answering his question.

“I know,” Natasha said. “All that stress isn’t good for her or the baby… And what about the kids… You know I adore those kids, but there’s no way… How can we subject them to him?” she asked as she motioned to Tony.

“Hey!” Tony exclaimed. They both stared at him for a moment. “What?”

“She’s right,” Rhodey responded. “You’re a mess.”

“Aren’t they MY kids?” 

“That doesn’t give you the right to screw them up with your past self,” Natasha spoke up. “They’re good kids… You’re NOT the man that they know as their father…”

“They have to be smart if they’re mine. Smart and beautiful. So, I’m sure that they’ll understand what’s going on.”

“And what about Pepper?” Rhodey asked.

“What about her?”

“She’s pregnant… She’s not supposed to be working for Stark for the remainder of her pregnancy, but your lack of memory is forcing her into it,” Rhodey explained. “She can’t deal with any more stress. How do you think that’s going to work with you going home?”

“Oh…right… It would be their home, too…”

“Yeah.”

“Well, crap.”

There was silence between them for a few minutes. Tony was thinking. He really just didn’t want to be locked up in that room. He wanted off. He wanted to have access to his alcohol and his workshop and JARVIS. He needed to figure out what he’d really missed. He needed the unbiased version, which meant that he needed JARVIS. He’d not let him down on that.

“How about we go down and just see how it goes?” Tony suggested.

“I’d have to clear it with Fury,” Natasha spoke up.

“So, clear it with him…”

“And there’d have to be ground rules.”

“In my own house?” 

“Okay, then stay here,” Natasha told him and turned her back to walk out.

“WAIT!” he yelled. He really wanted out of here. Plus, he was a bit concerned that she’d inflict further harm on him if he did remain there. He really didn’t want the additional bruising. “What kind of ground rules?”

“No alcohol—“

“Wait…wait…”

“I’m agreeing with her on that,” Rhodey piped up.

“No one asked you,” Tony said and glared at his friend. Or was he his friend? Right now he really wasn’t sounding like it. “It’s not like I was out drunk driving…”

Natasha ignored him. “No alcohol. No unapproved guests over to the house. No leaving the house. No pretty much anything that’s going to screw up your relationship with your family.”

“So…what can I do?”

Natasha shrugged.

“It sounds like I’m pretty much allowed to stand around and that’s it.”

“What is it that you WANT to do?” Natasha questioned seriously.

He shrugged. “Talk to JARVIS. Figure out what the hell I missed…or am missing…”

“It’s a lot,” Rhodey informed him.

“Well, I should know my own history, shouldn’t I?”

“I’m not arguing with it,” Natasha stated. “But that doesn’t mean that you knowing everything that’s happened over the past decade is going to change who you are…to revert you into the man that we actually love.”

“Love?” Tony questioned and was intrigued by her word usage.

“That might have been too strong of a word.”

“I’m loved, huh?”

“Don’t let it go to your head,” she said with much annoyance.

“Too late,” Rhodey commented.

“I’ll talk to Fury…and Pepper.”

“What say does Pepper have in all of this?” Tony asked. “She’s my assis—“

“I’d get that word out of your head now, if you don’t want her to hit you,” Natasha warned him. “That woman is practically a saint for even being able to put up with you…let alone being married to you… She’s the best thing that ever happened to you and she’s taken on too much. You don’t respect her and I can guarantee you that if I’m not there, Happy will punch you.”

“She’s right,” Rhodey backed.

Tony really wasn’t sure that he even wanted to be awake. Suddenly a coma sounded like a great plan. At least in a coma, he was fairly sure that he could create his own world and wouldn’t have to deal with being under the orders of some crazy redhead in black leather. 

“Whatever… I can behave.”

They just stared at him.

“Hey, I can try, right?”

They still didn’t seem to believe him.

He was so screwed.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Their names are Sophia and Charlie, right?” Tony asked for the tenth time.

“Do you want a pen to write their names on your hand?” Rhodey questioned.

“Do you have one?”

Rhodey rolled his eyes at him. 

“Charlie’s the little one.”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure they’re mine.”

“Positive.”

Tony still couldn’t wrap his mind around him being not only married, but a father to two kids. Maybe he’d gotten into some kind of accident and hit his head too hard and fallen into some kind of domestic life. That was really the only way he could explain it to himself. That was the only way that it made sense to him.

“Here we are,” Rhodey announced.

They were dropped off outside of his mansion. It looked exactly how he remembered it. “It’s good to be home.”

“This isn’t exactly the home you remember,” Rhodey spoke up as he guided him in the direction of the front door.

“How so?”

“The first one was blown up…this one was rebuilt…completely,” Rhodey supplied. “Everything is pretty much identical or upgraded…”

“Good to know,” Tony said. “So, does that mean my workshop is even better?”

“I’m sure it’s far beyond what you expect.”

Happy was at the door and Tony was happy to see him even though Happy didn’t look as thrilled. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now that I’m home…”

“Natasha’s going to be right behind us,” Rhodey told him.

Happy just nodded. “Pepper and the kids are waiting.”

Tony noticed that Happy and Rhodey seemed a lot closer than he remembered. Though everyone seemed a lot closer than he remembered. He really didn’t like that. They so far seemed to like to team up against him. He didn’t appreciate that at all. 

He was purposefully guided into the main living area. He noticed the changes and for the most part, he thought that they were improvements, though there were things that he missed. Tony noticed immediately the children sitting on the couch with a pregnant Pepper. It was so weird to think that this was his life.

“Tony,” Pepper said. She seemed happy, but he could see that she wasn’t sure too. He supposed that if he were in her shoes that this would be incredibly confusing. He knew that it was past confusing for him.

“Hey,” he said and waved to the gathered small family group.

“I’ve explained what’s happened…but I think it’s going to be an adjustment for all of us,” Pepper explained as she got up.

“Are you okay, Daddy?” 

Tony stared at the two kids. Sophia and Charlie. Sophia and Charlie. The smaller one in the hat and the overalls had to be Charlie. “I’m…okay, I guess. Sophia, right?”

She was beaming at him as she nodded. Tony could see the resemblance in her. She was beautiful and he realized that she was just like her mom. Sophia had the red hair, blue eyes, and freckles…just like Pepper. She was dressed in a dress and her red hair was curled. She definitely took after Pepper. 

“Is it okay if I hug you?” Sophia asked slowly. 

He noticed that so far, Charlie had remained quiet, head down. This was really going to be an adjustment for all of them. He really hadn’t had any plans of screwing them up. “I…guess…”

“Tony, it’s okay if you’re not comfortable with it,” Pepper spoke up.

Sophia looked between them.

“I can handle a hug,” Tony said after a long moment. He noticed Natasha was there now. He knew that if he didn’t make things work that he was going to go back up on that helicarrier…thing…and be locked in a room. He really didn’t want that. He could handle being civil with Pepper and his…their…kids. 

It was still weird.

Sophia brightened even more and rushed to him, hugging him tightly. “We were so worried… I missed you!”

“I—“ He didn’t know what to say. He knew what he SHOULD say, but that wasn’t the truth. He didn’t know this little girl. 

“It’s okay,” she told him as she released him. “I understand that you don’t remember a lot of things…”

“Thanks,” Tony replied and gave her a small smile. He looked over towards the other child. “Charlie, isn’t it? I take it that you help me down in my workshop?” There was a nod, but no eye contact made.” Tony watched the child and waited to see if Charlie would make the first move. That wasn’t happening. “Think that maybe you can give me a tour? I’ve been informed that some things have changed around here…” He looked up at Pepper. “I am allowed down there, right?”

Pepper was smiling now. She nodded. “Yes…though I’ve restricted your access on some things. You’ll understand once you’re down there.”

“I really don’t like the sound of that…”

“You’ll understand.”

“I think I’m going to want access.”

“Once you’ve…acclimated…”

“Do you always do this? Even when I remember?”

“Oh, she’s the boss,” Happy spoke up.

Tony was a bit shocked to hear that. He looked back at Happy. “I thought I was the boss.”

“You’ve always thought that, but let’s be honest… It’s always been Pepper…even before you two were married.”

He made a face for a moment before turning back to Pepper. “JARVIS is going to know everything I’m going to need to know, right?”

Pepper tilted her head, she was still smiling. “He’ll give you the cliff notes version to the time you don’t remember…”

“I honestly am not sure that’s going to be enough.”

“Don’t worry,” Sophia whispered. “Charlie and I know all the rules…”

“Excellent, field guides… I like this.” He looked back to Charlie. “Do you think that maybe you could show me the workshop now?” He got another nod. Charlie finally got up, head still down, but then he was being hugged again. He couldn’t believe the amount of force that that little kid hit him with. His arms flopped back and then forward to balance himself. He accidentally knocked off Charlie’s hat and let out a slight scream at what he found. He stepped back and pointed at Charlie. “You’re---you’re a girl!”

Sophia was laughing like crazy.

Charlie looked completely upset though. The little girl had apparently had her braids tucked up in her hat. He had no idea. 

Pepper was there, crouching down and hugging Charlie from the side. She motioned to Sophia. “Sophia Maria Stark,” she told him. Pepper kissed the side of Charlie’s head. “Charlotte Virginia Stark, but we always call her Charlie…”

“He doesn’t like me,” Charlie whined to her mother and tears started to fall.

He’d done it now.

Tony hadn’t meant to upset the kid. He just had thought that Charlie was a boy… He was certain that anyone else in his position would have thought the same thing. “Hey…hey… I didn’t say that… I just… I hadn’t expected that you had braids under that hat…”

“You wanted a boy,” Charlie cried.

Pepper was looking at him now. 

Crap, he’d really screwed it up. He was definitely heading back to that helicarrier now. Natasha would probably give him a good black eye for it too. He found himself moving towards Pepper and Charlie. He knelt down and patted Charlie’s shoulder. “It’s not that… I’m just… My computer’s missing a chunk of data,” Tony said as he pointed to his head.

“Too bad you don’t have a restore point,” Charlie told him. “It would be easier if human brains were more like computers… JARVIS could even just upload everything you’re missing…”

Tony beamed at the little girl. There was now no doubt in his mind that this was his little girl. “That’s my girl…”

Charlie beamed at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. For the first time, he wrapped his arms around her…though loosely so. 

“I’m still getting my tour, right?”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	5. Awkward Moments

It wasn’t easy for her for him to be in the house, even though she’d wanted him to be there just the same. Pepper kept hoping that his memory would be jogged by something. She’d hoped for sure that he’d see the suits and immediately remember at least…Iron Man. 

After all, Tony was Iron Man.

He hadn’t remembered.

Pepper had ordered JARVIS to lock Tony out of being able to access the suits. He could see blueprints and see his video logs, but that was it. Anything else, she feared was too dangerous. It was hard enough to give him space down there because Charlie was tagging along. 

“Hey.”

Pepper looked over and smiled as Happy sat down next to her. “Hi.”

“How are you dealing with all of this?”

She shrugged as her hands hand over her belly. She was trying to be in a calm place right now because she knew that she couldn’t stress for the baby. “At least he’s alive,” she whispered. Pepper didn’t know what else to really think. “That’s a lot, especially for Tony, right?”

Happy just nodded slowly at first before he spoke up. “Have you thought past him just being here?”

“No,” she whispered honestly. Pepper was really trying to focus on the fact that he was alive and that it was likely that his memories would return…she just hoped that it wouldn’t take too long. “I thought Charlie would take it the worst, but I think she’s handling it the best…”

“They both take after you on that front,” Happy told her. “Let’s be serious.”

Pepper smiled in response. “I think Charlie’s picked up some of Tony’s quirks…”

“They’re from observation…not from genetics.”

“That’s true.”

“You know, Tony’s been through a lot, he’s probably more confused than anyone else,” Happy said. “He’s going to remember…”

Pepper sighed. “I hope so. If he doesn’t soon, then that means that I’ll have to step back up as CEO. I really was hoping not to have to do that…”

Happy frowned. “I vote for him remembering tonight…even if I have to hit him in the head.” He was teasing; of course, she could hear it in his voice. Well, mostly joking. “You are /not/ going to step back up as CEO. You’re going to take the time you need for that baby… You’re going to take a hefty amount of post-baby leave too. I might be the unofficial Uncle Happy, but I intend to keep that baby safe as much as I can.”

He was so sweet. Pepper was glad that he was around and it made things a little easier because she knew that she could talk to him about things. She also knew that he could watch out for the kids and she could talk to Tony about whatever needed to be talked about. The fact was, it just wasn’t practical for her /not/ to step back up as CEO of the company if Tony wasn’t doing the job. She really couldn’t expect him to do it in his state. The Tony that was currently present in his mind was a Tony that had had Obadiah Stane running things and then she and Happy kept Tony safe from himself. Not exactly who they needed running Stark Industries.

“I think I’m going to go lie down,” she told him after a minute. 

“Did you eat anything?” 

“I had breakfast and a light lunch,” she told him. “It’s still a bit early for dinner though.”

Happy didn’t look very pleased with her response. “How about if I bring you something?”

“It’s really not necessary.” The fact was that she just really didn’t want to be fussed over, well that wasn’t entirely true… She just didn’t want to be fussed over by Happy. She would be happy to be fussed over by her husband, but currently…he was a bit lost…

“I’m really not going to argue about this,” Happy told her. “You go and relax. I’ll bring you in one of those smoothies that has spinach and weird stuff /in/ with the fruit and a cold bottle of water to put next to the bed. No arguments.”

Tears started to well in her eyes, but she kept them back. She was certain that it was hormones to blame, but she was touched just the same. Happy was her family, but that didn’t mean that he had to do what he was offering to do… “Thank you,” she gushed a bit too much before moving to hug him. 

Pepper got up after a minute and headed to the bedroom. It was so odd being in there now and realized that they’d have to sort out sleeping arrangements, but they still had some time until that was still necessary. “JARVIS, can you make it dark please?” she asked. 

“Of course, Ms. Potts,” JARVIS responded. 

She knew that Tony would tell her that there was a more precise command she could have given, but she trusted that JARVIS knew what she wanted. And he did. JARVIS tinted the windows completely and the lights turned off. Pepper sat on the edge of the bed and removed her shoes first. She had already decided that she was going to change into something more comfortable, shorts and a t-shirt. It was far more casual than she normally wore, but she knew that it would be comfortable. She could also sleep in it without a bra and then don one once again for the remainder of the evening and know she’d be fine in the house in that outfit. 

Moving to the closet, she retrieved clothing before disappearing into the bathroom. She used the facilities before changing. She’d purposely done so in the bathroom in case Happy walked in, she felt weird locking the bedroom door but also didn’t want an awkward or uncomfortable moment. She washed her hands, then splashed water on her face, and then finally loosely braided her hair before heading back into the bedroom. 

On the bed stand was a smoothie and a bottle of water, just as Happy had promised. She sat on her side of the bed and drank the smoothie while looking at a picture of her and Tony on her bedside that was lit by the light that Happy had left on. The picture was from their wedding, they were just so happy. It was one of her favorite pictures of them. Pepper drank nearly all the smoothie before turning off the light and finally starting to make herself comfortable in the bed. She moved pillows and adjusted blankets. 

It took her a while, but eventually…she found a comfortable spot and drifted off to sleep.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Tony!” she screamed.

She’d scared herself awake. Her heart was racing and she was clinging to one of the pillows. Tears were rushing down her face and she felt so stupid. She knew that if she’d woken herself up that others had heard her as well. Pepper pushed the covers back and heard the door open; she turned to look towards the door. She could see Tony’s figure in the doorway. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Pepper expected him to stay at the doorway and just talk to her, but he moved towards her. 

“Are you alright?” he asked and she could hear worry in his voice. “Do I need to call a doctor?”

She was quiet for a moment. It was odd to hear him so concerned for her…and their child…since as far as she knew, he still didn’t remember all of his memories. “No, that’s not necessary…” Pepper ran her hand over her belly and tried to concentrate for a moment on breathing evenly. “I—It was a nightmare is all…” she explained finally and looked away from him. 

“About me.”

Pepper nodded at first. “About you.”

“JARVIS filled me in on things…” he said quietly and he sat on the edge of the bed. As she stared at him, she could see something different in him, but it wasn’t /her/ Tony. “The suits…the ones that were involves in the incident, are they here? 

“I don’t know if Rhodey’s armor—“

“War Machine.”

Pepper nodded. “I don’t know if it’s still up on the helicarrier, but I left Iron Man and Rescue up there… I didn’t think it was necessary for them to be brought home immediately,” she admitted as she moved to a better sitting position. “It’s not like you’re in the right mind to start repairs on your armor.”

“Your armor was undamaged?” 

She nodded again.

“Was I the only one who was injured?”

“Yes,” she whispered. 

“You have me locked out on the files for the suits. I get that, but do the suits record video?”

Pepper stopped and just stared at him for a long moment. “I—I—“ She hadn’t thought about that. It made sense. “I don’t know… It would make sense…”

“You didn’t think to check with JARVIS?”

Tears fell from her eyes and she shook her head. 

“Hey, hey…” he said softly. He turned on the bedside light and then turned to her. Tony moved closer to her and the palm of his hand cupped her cheek. “It’s okay… You weren’t thinking clearly… You have a lot on your plate… Too much…”

“I thought I was going to lose you,” she admitted and reached up to wipe tears away. She knew that part of it was the hormones and the other part was because she was just emotional over everything that had happened. “I—“

“Pep… I just asked a question,” he said gently. 

“JARVIS?” she called out, her voice broke a bit.

“How may I assist you, Ms. Potts?” JARVIS’ voice filled the room.

“I thought we were married?” he teased. “Not Mrs. Stark?”

Pepper let out a small laugh and shook her head. “It’s easier if it’s Potts for things. Less confusing.”

“Does that mean that you never get called Mrs. Stark?”

“/You/ call me that.”

“I do?” 

“Yes,” Pepper confirmed. 

He started to grin. For a moment, they were quiet in that moment, forgotten why they’d called JARVIS. “J, would the incident in which I got beat up be recorded?”

“Yes, Sir,” JARVIS replied immediately. “It would have.”

“Wouldn’t it have downloaded onto that cloud thing that you and Charlie were trying to explain to me? The imaginary one?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Is there a file?” Tony questioned.

“Your access is restricted.”

Tony looked over at Pepper and she already had her mouth open in order to speak up. “JARVIS. Is there a file?”

“I have a file for the Rescue and War Machine units, but nothing was downloaded from the Iron Man armor.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes.

Why hadn’t she thought about that? It was hard for her to ignore the fact that she should have known that and should have brought it up on the helicarrier, if not to know what happened to Tony then to see who the enemy was. If they had anything to worry about… 

“If we could retrieve the armor, is it possible to download the video file?”

“Yes,” Tony replied as JARVIS replied as well with the same general answer. 

“I’ll have Natasha bring down the suits,” Pepper said. 

“Tomorrow.”

She stared at him in confusion. “What?” she questioned. Pepper didn’t understand why it needed to wait. She could easily get a hold of the SHIELD carrier and get the suits brought to their home. It wouldn’t take long. Technically, she knew that she could contact Rhodey or even have JARVIS remotely access Rescue and fly her down with Tony’s suit in tow. Having Natasha bring them down just seemed to be the easiest way to ensure that nothing was broken further and no parts were missing.

“Tomorrow,” Tony repeated. “Right now, you’re going to take a minute. Then we’re going to all have dinner.”

“What time is it?”

“Pepper, don’t worry… I handled it.”

Pepper just stared at him in disbelief.

Tony tilted his head to one side and then the other for a moment. “Okay, so maybe Happy took care of it. He made the kids this pasta stuff. There’s apparently spinach and other stuff that sounds overly healthy, though I hear that I eat healthier now.”

“You do.”

“I don’t think I like it,” Tony told her as he made a face.

Pepper reached out and patted his leg. “It’s okay. You really don’t have a choice.”

“That’s what I figured,” he replied, slightly irritated. “But it does /look/ good and actually, it /smells/ good as well. So, I was thinking that since you’re pregnant…you…and the baby are probably ready for some food… Plus, the kids sort of freaked out when they heard you screaming for me… I told them that you were fine, so we should probably just…you know, make an appearance… Just so they know you’re okay.”

Her mouth dropped. She knew that she should have gone out and made sure that they were okay, but Tony had come in…he’d come in and she’d sort of figured that no one else had heard her. “Oh my—“

“I’m sure Happy’s making up something, but just the same…”

“I’ll be out in a couple of minutes,” she said as she moved to get out of the bed.”

“What are we going to do about this?” Tony asked as he waved his hand around.

Pepper froze for a moment. “There are other rooms. We’ll figure out something that’ll work for all of us.” 

“Just checking…”

“Go and tell them that I’m fine,” Pepper instructed him and got up from the bed. 

He looked not so sure at first and then he was leaving. Pepper watched him go and wondered if this meant that she was a step closer to having her Tony back. She wasn’t sure if that was just a hopeful idea or if it was really the truth. All that she knew was that she’d woken up to a Tony that hadn’t been there a few hours before. 

“JARVIS, can you put in a call to the helicarrier?”

“Of course, Ms. Potts. If Agent Hill responds?” 

Pepper tilted her head slightly. “Just try to get a hold of Natasha or Fury, if possible.”

“Of course.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	6. Will The Real Tony Stark Please Stand Up

He'd gotten up early and had snuck down to the workshop. Tony wasn't sure if it was something that would be seen as normal or not. All he knew was that he had to do it. He'd felt different and he didn't know if it was his memories coming back, not that he remembered anything...he just felt different as a person. It was like he'd understood that he was no longer Tony Stark, alcoholic billionaire playboy. That had been a bit hard to swallow, but from what he'd seen in the media over the last few years...he understood that everything had changed after Afghanistan.

"Should you be here?"

Tony turned from the interface he'd been looking over to the voice that had scared him. It wasn't because it had been a voice, it was because it was a voice that he hadn't expected. He stared at the redhead. "I'm confused. Are we friends?"

Natasha smirked. "It depends on the day of the week," she teased. "And how you behave."

"That's what I thought," Tony lied. In all honesty, he had no idea what to think. He'd tried to get a rundown of everything that had happened and everyone he should /know/, but JARVIS hadn't been too helpful...mainly because he was under Pepper's parental controls and JARVIS had informed him that he was no longer allowed access to the SHIELD database. Tony wasn't exactly /positive/ as to what the SHIELD database was, but he felt like he needed access to it...probably mainly due to the fact that he'd been denied access.

"I brought the suits," Natasha told him and motioned behind her. "Though, I'd rather not leave them in your hands…"

"Why?"

"Because you're not Tony Stark."

"Really? I'm pretty sure I /am/ Tony Stark," Tony argued, but didn't get worked up about it. Natasha wasn't being aggressive or confrontational and he wondered if she was testing him. If she was trying to see how he reacted. He understood that, but that didn't mean that he had to like it. It felt like everyone was hiding something from him...and that something was about the last decade of his life… He didn't like that. 

"What's your social security number?" Pepper's voice echoed through the basement.

Tony frowned. 

"Do I have one?" he asked as he turned towards her.

He watched as she carefully held onto the staircase railing. Tony was worried about her. He felt weird worrying about her because he kept thinking of her as his assistant, but then he'd remind himself that this was his wife… Wife was still such a foreign concept to him. But she was gorgeous and he knew that he didn't deserve her. Tony wanted...mainly for Pepper...to be able to remember. He'd started to see and understand why everyone was so concerned about her...and Tony really didn't know how to help out in any way that would be significant besides remembering. 

Tony moved to the bottom of the stairs and held out his hand to her. He was half surprised when she accepted it and he made sure that she made it down the last step safely. She looked exhausted and rather large...he was sure that he shouldn't say the latter outloud, but it was true. 

"So...this...person…" Tony said as he motioned towards Natasha. "Doesn't trust me with our suits… They are /our/ suits, aren't they?"

"Just like his and hers towels," Pepper told him with a small smile. "And her name is Natasha…"

"That sounds a little too...not deadly…" Tony said as he looked between Pepper and Natasha. He really had a feeling that he should fear both of the redheads in his basement. Of course, he was a little more worried about Natasha coming and killing him in the middle of the night...but in the kind of way that draws it out in a form of daylong torture. She seemed like that was more her cup of tea rather than a bullet to the head. 

"Maybe he should be back up on the helicarrier in a white padded cell," Natasha told Pepper. She was clearly not amused.

"He'd probably figure out a way to break out," Pepper said with a smile.

"You /do/ realize that I'm standing right here," Tony spoke up. 

"So you said that he thought that he could retrieve the video feed off of the Iron Man suit," Natasha said. "I had our techs just visually look at it. They didn't touch it. They don't think that's going to be possible."

"They're obviously not me," Tony said as he moved past Natasha and Pepper. He crossed the room and headed for the suits. When he came to them, he noticed that Rescue was in perfect condition while Natasha seemed right...Iron Man had been rather...well, it looked like he'd been battered about and opened with a can opener. "Who the hell did that?!"

"They did it to save you," Pepper told him as she walked up alongside of you. 

He looked for a moment at her. She looked so sad and torn up inside. Tony didn't know how traumatic it all had been for her, he could only imagine...but it probably wouldn't have been quite right. He sighed as he looked back at the suit. "I'm still going to get the footage off of it. Right, JARVIS?"

"Do you want the good news or the bad news, Sir?" JARVIS asked.

"We're operating only on good news, JARVIS!" 

"The Rescue model is in perfect working order."

Tony scowled. "I'm not concerned with the Rescue armor!" he snapped. 

"You said only the good news, Sir."

"When did you become so...snarky?"

"I adapted, Sir."

"Can I reset you?" Tony asked, half serious.

"No!" Pepper argued.

"Ms. Potts has final say, Sir. I'm afraid that you're stuck with me," JARVIS replied.

Tony sighed. He'd created a monster. He crouched down and started to poke at the remains of the Iron Man armor. He grabbed some tools and returned to the suit. After a few minutes, he looked up at them. "This is going to take a while…" he told them.

"I'll wait," Natasha spoke up.

He eyed Pepper. "You probably shouldn't be on your feet." Also, he really didn't want anyone hovering. At least Natasha seemed to be giving him space. 

"Only if you promise me that you'll let me know when you've found something," Pepper told him. She was eyeing him and Tony knew that she meant business even though her tone was gentle. She really was the one in charge…

"Okay," he said. 

Tony was going to argue that he didn't need to do it, Natasha was right there, but there was just something about Pepper… He couldn't argue with her and he couldn't bring himself to upset her anymore than he already had. He froze when she ran her fingers through his short hair, he knew that it was probably a habit. Tony didn't say anything, but found himself watching her as she left. It was like she'd hypnotized him and he was unable to look away until she'd moved out of his sight. 

"Did she knock sense into you?" Natasha asked after a few minutes.

Tony snapped out of it and looked at her. "What?"

"You're acting differently...than when you woke up on the carrier," Natasha told him. "Are you remembering? Or did Pepper just read you the riot act?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said and then turned back to the suit. There was a lot of work that needed to be done before they could even /hope/ to retrieve working video. He just hoped that his work didn't wasn't in vain.

"She's a good person," Natasha said. "I'm sure this is confusing to you." She was quiet. "But Pepper Potts...Stark...whatever name she's going by… She's a good human being and probably--"

"Better than I deserve?" he asked as he looked over his shoulder.

"If we're being honest?" Natasha asked. A moment passed. "Yes."

"Then I better do my best to fix this...make her proud...remind her that I'm not a complete loser…"

Natasha smirked at that. "I'll be over here."

Tony turned back to the suit. "Just as long as you don't hover."

"And if I do?"

"I'll try not to cringe and think about how you're probably plotting to kill me…"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"Do you know if it's going to show us anything?" Pepper asked as she stared at the interface that Tony had up. It displayed the Iron Man armor and every single thing that was wrong with it. He was fairly sure that there couldn't be /much/ more wrong with it.

Tony watched her as she stared at it. Pepper Potts. The woman who he remembered as his assistant… While he'd been waiting for the video to finish automatically fixing itself, he'd had JARVIS play some of the videos that he had. It had been a little awkward with Natasha there, but she'd stayed on the edges of the workshop and kept quiet. 

In those videos, he knew that they had all been telling him the truth. He loved Pepper. He loved her more than anyone else in the world...and those kids were definitely his...and he adored them. Tony had been almost relieved to see that although his life was so different, there were some things that just hadn't changed… Like Happy, he was always there. Happy was apart of their family...that much was clear. And Rhodey, even though he wasn't ever present like Happy...he'd seen him in enough of his videos or mentioned that he knew that he was still around as his friend. 

He was married to a woman who loved him...even given knowing everything that she knew about him...even though living with him through his lowest points. A woman that he felt was too good for him, but she loved him just the same...and she pushed him. Pepper was definitely not the kind of wife who said 'yes' to her husband's every whim. She more often said 'no' and would challenge his decisions. They were partners in every way. 

He had a family that was made up of friends and family and they were always there for him. No matter what, they were a family. No matter how much he screwed up. They were always there for him. 

His life wasn't so bad. 

In fact, Tony felt like he was pretty damn lucky.

Lucky…

"Tony?"

He blinked. "Right. So, let's just /hope/ it works… I figured that you would want to see it when I saw it...that and JARVIS wouldn't let me...or Natasha…" He stopped and looked between Pepper and Natasha. "Geez...everyone is so against me. Everything has parental controls on it like I'm one of the kids…"

"There's a reason," Natasha told him.

Tony frowned. 

"It's really for your own good, Tony," Pepper said gently.

"You know," Tony said and then paused as he waited to make sure that they were both paying attention to him. "If I /wanted/ to...I could have hacked into the SHIELD database /and/ gotten past your parental controls."

"JARVIS would have stopped you."

"Why is JARVIS always on your side?"

"It's the proper order of things, Sir," JARVIS piped up.

Tony scowled but decided right now it just didn't matter. He started the video. He really didn't think that Pepper should be there for it, just in case it was too much, but he hadn't brought it up because he just didn't think either of them would listen to him. They were both strong willed and stubborn and he knew better. 

He skipped the footage ahead to the timestamp that Natasha had indicated while they'd waited for the video to fully render. He watched as he sent both War Machine and Rescue away. The Iron Man turned back to the suit who was just hovering right in front of him. The other suit was foreign to him. It wasn't like one of his and just painted a silver color. The suit was almost leaner than Pepper's Rescue armor and Tony started to wonder if a person could even fit inside of it. 

"Maybe it's a drone…" he mumbled as the video continued.

It hovered there for a long moment. It was like the thing was studying his armor or scanning him. All Tony wanted was to know who the hell the suit belonged to. It was purely silver and almost reminded him of an insect in shape. There were no logos and the suit never once made any audio contact with him...before it blasted him. 

The blast came suddenly and it looked as if his flight systems went almost immediately offline along with his weapons systems. He watched at the holodisplay of the Iron Man armor as it took damage. It was all information that was gathered from the suit and synced with the video. 

Pepper let out a gasp as his suit just started to fall uncontrollably from the sky...the video briefly showing another view of the silver suit before all it was was sky and water as the suit tumbled towards the ocean below. The video went black before they could even see if the suit hit the water. 

"Well, I guess I'm pretty lucky that I'm not dead," Tony joked and then realized that maybe that was the wrong time to joke about that. "Right...so… We need to find out who's suit that is."

"We've been trying to figure it out," Natasha spoke up.

"How could you without the video?" Tony questioned.

"We were looking at anything and everything that could have been similar to your suits," Natasha explained. "Since you debuted your Iron Man suit, there have been hundred of prototypes out there...none of them have quite worked right. I think Stane's Iron Monger came the closest…but he had Stark Industries to complete that and your arc reactor."

"What kind of name is Iron Monger?"

"Really?" Pepper asked. "/That's/ what you got from that?"

Tony shrugged. "Like who the hell came up with the idea that Iron Patriot was a better name than War Machine? And that paint job?" He noticed the stares he was getting and sighed. "Look...maybe I can get more from the video or the suit…" He looked over at the bits of the suit. "Or maybe not…" Tony looked back to them. "But I think we /all/ know that I work better alone. Do you think you could trust me to do that?"

He watched as Pepper and Natasha exchanged looks. "It's dinner," Pepper told him. 

"I'll come up and eat...but then--"

"Just don't stay up all night," she said gently. "You /do/ need your sleep...even if you think that four hours over a couple of days is enough. It's not."

Tony just nodded.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

He'd struck out as far as finding anymore useful information on the unidentified suit. All he got was that they tried to scan it and they couldn't get past what kind of materials had been used for the outer armor. 

Instead, he'd decided to pass the time by watching some of his video diaries. Some of them were about his work. Well, most of them were, especially the older ones...the ones that were from before he and Pepper were engaged or married. Those were all about the suits and him looking like an idiot with JARVIS commentary. As he got closer to the current date, he found that more of his videos included family members. Tony had even found himself shedding tears on videos about his daughters' births, though not as much as the video he had with Charlie helping him for the first time in the workshop. 

His life wasn't all about his work, he realized. It was also refreshing to know that his legacy wouldn't be weapons and being known as an alcoholic who slept with pretty much every woman he set his eyes on. His legacy was something so much greater… Tony also realized that as hard as he'd been on the memories he had with his father, he was proud of the dad that he'd become… He seemed to be able to balance all his worlds… He and Pepper were partners in everything and he was sure that that was part of the great secret of making it all work. 

"Sir, Ms. Potts wanted me to remind you that you should sleep," JARVIS piped up.

"In a few minutes."

"Shall I set a reminder, Sir?"

"Not necessary."

"Are you quite sure, Sir? The last time you said that was four hours ago."

Tony sighed. "Fine… I'm going to bed." He paused the video he'd been watching. It froze on an image of him and Pepper. She was smiling...laughing...and he had his arms wrapped around her. They were so happy. He decided that it probably was the best place to stop anyways… "Night JARVIS," he said quietly as he shut down the video diaries. 

"Goodnight, Sir."

Slowly, he made his way up the stairs and out of the workshop. He automatically moved towards 'their' room and then stopped at the door. The door was cracked open and he pushed it open slightly before peeking in. The far nightstand light was on and he sighed. She was sleeping on the other side of the bed. Opening the door, Tony watched her for a moment. He knew that he could go and sleep in the room down the hall, but it didn't seem right… 

Tony made the decision to enter the bedroom, but pulled the door closed behind him quietly until it was open only a crack. He turned to make sure that Pepper was still asleep before padding to her bedside. He crouched down and watched her for a long moment. She looked so peaceful and she almost looked happy. It reminded him of the videos he'd just watched. He was leaning in and placing a kiss on her forehead before he could really think of it. His eyes went wide and he pulled his body back quickly when she stirred ever so slightly.

Once he was certain that she wasn't going to wake up, he smiled. "Goodnight, Pepper," he whispered. Tony walked to the other side of the bed, pulled the only remaining pillow not being monopolized by Pepper and dropped it to the floor. He tried to make himself as comfortable as he could on the floor, which he was surprised wasn't as hard as he'd thought. He was out, his mind thinking of thoughts of happy him and Pepper.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	7. Changes in their Situation

"Ms. Potts, would you like your appointments cancelled today?" 

Pepper sighed. She wanted to say yes. "No, but if you could see about pushing back my appointments after lunch, just so I have some additional time...I'd appreciate that."

"Of course, Ms. Potts," the assistant said cheerfully. "Anything you need. Just let me know!" She turned and started to head out, but then stopped and turned. "Ms. Potts?"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to upset you or touch on something that's a sensitive subject, but is Mr. Stark alright?" the assistant asked. "There's been all kinds of rumors as to why he isn't here...and why he hasn't been seen."

Pepper stared at the assistant for a moment and blinked. She hadn't really processed the fact that this had to be extremely confusing for all of those working at Stark Industries. "There was an accident," Pepper said purposefully being vague. "Mr. Stark is alright, but I really thought he needed some time off. It's only temporary...just to really make sure he's okay."

The younger woman nodded for a moment. "I'm glad to hear he's okay." She turned and left a moment later.

She knew that that was going to get around the whole company by lunchtime, but that was okay. It was the truth. Tony /was/ okay physically...he just wasn't the Tony that they all knew mentally. Pepper let out a sigh and turned in the chair back to face her computer screen, she was already uncomfortable and she knew that she shouldn't be sitting for long periods of time. 

Someone had to run the company though.

Pepper didn't want to risk losing Stark Industries because of no one acting as CEO and it going to a board decision. She was determined to keep Stark Industries in the family and to keep control of it and Pepper wasn't about to let her determination waiver just because she was six months pregnant. She could do this. She'd done it before. 

"I don't like this. I hope you know. I don't like this. I don't like this at all."

She smiled a little and peeked past her computer screen at him. Pepper had been expecting him. After all, it wasn't like Happy was going to sit in the car or actually leave her there. "I figured you'd say that."

"And...you're going to say something that's going to make me feel better, right?"

Happy seemed hopeful, but she just sighed. "Happy… You /know/ I can't just leave Stark Industries to the board to handle…"

"That's not what I wanted to hear--"

"I don't want this to be the situation, either," she said slowly and gently. "But this is what we're stuck with at the moment...and we need to make the best of it." She sucked in a deep breath. "And I really am going to /need/ your help, Happy…" Pepper stared at him. "I don't know how to do this...to be honest." She paused. "I'm terrified."

"You know I'm going to be here for you," Happy said. "Even if I still think it's not the best plan."

"I do appreciate that…"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Pepper had heard the light creak of the door being opened and the light steps as they approached her. She’d come home and went straight to her room to nap, but she’d been unable to fall asleep. Pepper really didn’t know what she was going to do as far as Stark Industries went because after just one day she hurt so much. She didn’t know how she could go to work in the morning let alone through her pregnancy. She reminded herself that there was a reason they had their rule.

“Mom?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?” Pepper responded and rolled over to see Sophia standing at her bedside. She hated not seeing her kids all day and Pepper realized that they really didn’t have Tony to go to.

“Are you okay?” Sophia asked.

Pepper could hear the worry in her eldest daughter’s voice. It killed her. “I’m just tired.”

“You missed dinner…and Happy said that you /have/ to eat.”

Her eyes looked to the clock on her nightstand and sighed. Maybe she had fallen asleep for a bit. She certain didn’t /feel/ rested. “I must have fallen asleep.”

“Happy has a plate for you,” her small voice informed Pepper. Sophia paused for a moment. “Daddy missed dinner, too. He’s looked down in the workshop and told Charlie that she’s not allowed in.”

Pepper thought that was odd and wondered what he could be working on. The locking Charlie out of the workshop was odd, not him skipping meals. Tony probably hadn’t even realized how much time had passed and Pepper realized that she was the only person who could override the lock.

“What is he working on, Mom?” Sophia asked.

“He’s trying to figure out what happened to him,” Pepper said slowly as she moved to a sitting position carefully. Pepper reached out and pulled Sophia to her, wrapping her arms around her. She kissed Sophia’s forehead and sucked in breath. “I think /he/ thinks that it’ll help him remember.”

Sophia clung to her. “It feels like he’s just pushing himself further away from us.”

Pepper held Sophia at arm’s length and stared into her daughter’s bright blue eyes. “Your dad is /never/ going to leave us. I know it’s hard and confusing. I know it’s hard to be strong, but we have to be… We have to be a team.”

“How can we be a team if Dad doesn’t even know who he is?” Sophia questioned. “Knowing his name and favorite tool doesn’t make him /my/ dad and how can we be a family?”

This had been expected, but Pepper had thought that they’d been lucky and they wouldn’t really have to discuss it like Tony might never come back. “I know,” she whispered as she pushed a strand of scarlet hair out of Sophia’s face and tucked it behind her ear. “I know that it’s hard because things aren’t how they’re supposed to be right now—“

“You’re supposed to be resting and relaxing at home, not going to work,” Sophia told her.

“Sophia—“

Busted by the kid.

“/Call/ Uncle Bruce,” Sophia practically ordered before heading out of the bedroom.

Pepper watched her go with a sigh. Maybe Sophia was right. Tony was an avenger and she might need to consider reaching out to the others that weren’t directly connected with SHIELD.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“We both missed dinner,” Pepper told him as she stared his back.

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Missing dinner isn’t something that we do, Tony,” she told him. “Dinner as a family is important.”

“I keep thinking that if I can figure out where that armor came from,” Tony said as he turned to her. He paused for a moment. “That maybe I would finally remember…” He took a step forward towards her. “No matter how much I /try/ to be /your/ Tony, but I’m not /him/, Pep…”

Tears fell down her cheeks and she tried to tell herself that it was the hormones, but that wasn’t really true. It was because she knew that Tony was right. She’d known that all along, but it was so much harder to think that this version of Tony was sticking around long-term.

“It’s not fair to you or the kids—“

“They deserve their father,” Pepper told him. “What are you going to do if you /never/ remember?” she asked. Pepper wiped tears away, but they kept falling and she was barely holding it together.

“I don’t know,” Tony whispered.

Pepper turned away and tried to calm herself down, but it really wasn’t helping. She turned back to him after a minute. “/We need you, Tony/. We’re your family and we’re not going to just give up on you.”

“I don’t want to hurt any of you anymore than I already have,” Tony explained.

“Then don’t.”

“I don’t know what else to do, Pepper.”

She watched him for a long moment before opening her mouth to speak. “You need help. SHIELD is already doing what they can…” Pepper paused for a moment. “I’m calling the one person that has the best chance of helping you.”

“Who?”

“Bruce Banner.”

“Who the /hell/ is Bruce Banner?” Tony asked.

“He’s your friend.”

Tony seemed to soften and almost let down his defenses for a moment. “He is?”

Pepper nodded. “And he doesn’t knock you around like Natasha does.”

“I like him already!” Tony replied with a smile.

“He’s also a scientist.”

“He and I are definitely BFFs, aren’t we?”

Pepper just stared at him for a long moment. For a moment she expected him to be /her/ Tony.

“Charlie taught it to me,” Tony started to explain. “Did I use it incorrectly? Was she just pulling one over on me?”

“I thought you banished her from down here?” Pepper asked in confusion.

“Right,” Tony replied with a nod. “That was /pre-banishment/.”

It was still taking a moment for her to really process everything. “You used it correctly and I suppose that the term BFF would apply to Bruce. You and he have far too much fun down here when he’s in town. There are far too many explosions and science talk—“

“I /love/ science talk!”

Pepper sighed. “He’s also good at tolerating your eccentricities.”

Tony frowned. “I thought a better person than I remember?”

“You are!” she said quickly. “But that doesn’t make you any /less/ Tony Stark.” She paused for a moment. “Tony Stark is more than the /you/ that you remember. You’re brilliant and you’re shaping the future in a better way,” she told him. “In twenty years, /that’s/ what they’re going to remember. /That/ is the legacy you leave behind…/that/ is the bar that you have set for our children…” Pepper reached out to cup his face. “Sophia and Charlie are already /so/ intelligent…just think about what they’ll do in ten years…fifteen…twenty…”

“All these years…” he said slowly. “I’ve always thought of myself as Tony Stark: playboy, billionaire, philanthropist—“

“But you’re /more/,” she told him. Pepper remembered that Tony Stark. She’d worked for him. She’d been worried sick about him. She’d wanted to kill him at times (…so not /everything/ changed). “You’re an inventor, a pioneer, a visionary, a father…” For a moment she thought that maybe she was almost overselling it. It was like a switch when she saw the change in his eyes; it was like he finally understood.

They were both quiet for a long time.

“I /think/ I remembered something,” he spoke up.

Pepper tilted her head slightly. “What did you remember?”

“It was flashes…really,” he admitted. “Being here, but then also…I remember this place blowing up around me.”

She listened and it gave her some hope. Maybe she’d get her Tony back… Pepper just nodded, so that he knew that she was listening.

“I think I put the suit on you?” He seemed confused. “I didn’t see that—“ He paused. “I saw the suit over me, protecting me. Iron Man armor, not the Rescue armor.”

“When Stark Mansion was destroyed, there was no Rescue armor yet,” Pepper explained. She really didn’t know what to think as far as the memories he seemed to be remembering. “But you’re right,” she confirmed. Pepper didn’t want him to think that he was crazy and his mind was making things up. You /did/ send the suit to me. It encased me to keep me safe. I saved you…just like you always save me.”

Tony just nodded in response and then moved away to pace a bit. Pepper gave him his space and kept quiet for a few minutes.

“Did you find out anything else about the unidentified suit?” she asked.

He didn’t stop pacing. “No, which is /really/ frustrating/.”

“Well, SHIELD is involved, so at least there’s additional resources and researchers,” Pepper told him. She was trying to make it a positive situation. “Something will come up.”

“But will it help my memories?”

Pepper didn’t want to dwell on that, so she just shrugged. “What I /do/ know is that we both missed dinner…and it can’t happen again.”

“Pepper—“

“We can’t be too busy for the kids, Tony.”

“I /need/ a lead—“

“A lead isn’t going to help in a relationship with the girls if you’ve alienated yourself from them.”

“If I get a lead, then maybe it’ll help my memories.”

Tony stopped and turned to her. Pepper just stared at him. How she missed /her/ Tony. Sometimes she would see him for a glimmer of an instant. “The doctor said not to push it or stress yourself out—“

“You could have /your/ Tony back.”

Tears filled her eyes and she reached out and cupped his face with both of her hands. “The fact is that even though you may not remember…you /are/ my Tony. No matter what you do or do not remember will not change that fact.” She paused for a moment. “If you want to distance yourself then we’ll figure out a way. The kids would understand that better than you isolating yourself down here—“

“I don’t want to distance myself,” he told her. “At least I don’t want to.” Tony was quiet and then his hands were on her upper arms, gentle and yet strong. Tony leaned in and kissed her.

Pepper kissed him back without another thought. After all, he /was/ her husband. Memory loss /really/ hadn’t changed that. When Tony pulled back, he just stared at her in shock. Pepper’s mouth dropped open as she tried to think of what she needed or what she should say.

Nothing came to mind.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	8. Standing in a Shadow

The house was mostly dark, only minimal lighting in case someone walked through the house. Tony was sitting outside of the bedroom door, he couldn't go inside the room, but at the same time he couldn't stop thinking about Pepper. Tony had no idea why it had taken him so long to fall for her, but he knew after living in her Tony's life that he was the luckiest guy in the world.

That kiss…

He closed his eyes and he could vividly remember the kiss. It wasn't just the kiss, but how it had sparked something inside of him. Tony felt like the Grinch when his heart grew…

Tony wanted to get up and go into the bedroom and crawl into 'their' bed. He didn't know if he could be a good husband or father, but he was willing to give it a try. He just didn't think it was fair to Pepper or the kids. Tony had wondered if Natasha had been right about him possibly screwed up his own kids.

He wasn't the dad they knew.

Tony didn't know how to be a dad to Sophia and her girly ways. He just didn't. Did she have tea parties? He thought maybe he could do that, but he was fairly sure that Sophia was too old for that. What else could he do? Make bracelets? Glue on sparkles? Braid hair?

Charlie seemed like she'd be the easy one to bond with, but that just wasn't the case. She loved robots and tools and inventing things. She was a natural. The sad thing was that he knew from the videos and diaries that he spent an extraordinary amount of time with Charlie in the workshop. She was brilliant and he was a little scared to think of the great things she'd come up with. 

The truth was that he knew that he was close with both of the girls.

It just wasn't fair.

Tony knew that he couldn't continue to hold their hopes up or try to be the man that he couldn't quite measure up to. As hard as it was he just couldn't live another man's life. His own shadow loomed over him and Tony didn't feel like he measured up.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"I still can't believe you did that!"

"I should have listened to you," Tony said angrily. "You were RIGHT, is that what you wanted to hear?!" He knew that he shouldn't be snapping at her. She'd been right all along and he'd been selfish and cocky. "You were right about everything, Natasha. Pepper deserves someone better and so do Sophia and Charlie."

"I think you're being a bit too harsh."

Tony turned around to see Bruce Banner standing there. The only reason Tony knew who he was, was because of the videos that he'd watched. There were some with him talking about Bruce and a handful of others where he and Bruce were actually working on projects. He knew that he and Bruce were good friends and to the point where if he wasn't married to Pepper and he liked him in a romantic way, he'd totally marry him. In a video, he'd actually asked Pepper if they could both marry him and Tony had even given a long list of valid reasons. Pepper had just seemed confused.

"I think I know what I'm talking about, though if you want to take over for me...there won't be aggressive feelings," Tony told Bruce.

Tony watched Bruce as he stopped in his tracks and looked even more confused than Pepper had in the video. "I hope you weren't saying crazy things like that before you left--"

"Actually, I found a video where I tried to convince Pepper that we should marry you," Tony told him. 

"I could actually see that," Natasha said with a nod and then looked towards Bruce. "Are you going to be okay with him?"

"I guess…" Bruce said slowly and looked between the two of them.

"Don't let him bully you...or blow up the helicarrier…" Natasha told Bruce. "Fury will really not be happy about that."

Tony made a face. "I don't bully people!" He frowned and looked at Bruce. "Is she always like that?"

Bruce didn't speak up in response until Natasha had left them alone in the lab. "I really would suggest you not angering her." He walked over to where Tony had been standing and looked quite serious.

Tony tilted his head for a moment. Now he was the confused one. "I thought that you're the one I'm not supposed to anger…" Tony said. "The big green guy seems far more terrifying than she does...though when she hits...she means business… I still have some serious bruising from the last time I was up here."

Bruce was quiet and Tony noticed that he was fidgeting with his glasses in his hands. Trying to give him a nudge, he brought up the file on the suit that he'd collected. Maybe a fresh pair of eyes (or two) would see something he didn't.

"Do you even WANT to remember the you that we all know?" Bruce finally asked before he looked up at Tony.

He could see why they were such good friends even now.

"I thought you weren't a psychologist?"

Bruce smirked. "I'm NOT, but I AM your friend. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about Pepper. I'm worried about the kids and that baby."

"I'm doing this for THEM."

"I'm fairly sure Pepper would argue that this," Bruce said as he motioned around them. "Is NOT what's best for your family."

"You know… Pepper's not ALWAYS right."

There was a short silence before Bruce finally spoke up. "Are you SURE you watched all of your important videos in your archive?"

Tony made a face. "Is that a reference to a video the two of us might have made during one of Pepper's trips to New York? In which I admit that she's ALWAYS right about EVERYTHING?"

"That's the one."

"Come on! We were drinking!"

Bruce laughed and shook his head. "How much of the work that you did pre-Iron Man was brilliant? Basically you were drunk ALL the time!"

"I'd say THAT was harsh! It was more like MOST of the time."

"Be honest with yourself."

Tony was having a hard time accepting what Bruce was trying to say even though deep down he knew he was right. That didn't mean he had to like it. "Right! So! I have NO clue about this mystery suit…"

Bruce put on his glasses and glanced at the holographic representation in front of him. "There HAS to be something here. We're just missing it."

"Well then so did JARVIS and he doesn't miss ANYTHING," Tony told him.

The two of them had been working in silence for Tony didn't know how long...before Rhodey popped in. He hadn't expected Rhodey there, but he didn't mind it. He could use a break from all the information that he felt like he pretty much had memorized.

"Natasha told me you were both in here unsupervised," Rhodey said. "I figured I'd pop in...make sure nothing was blown up yet."

"We're researching."

"There's still time."

Tony frowned. "The military wouldn't happened to have had any luck with that mystery suit?"

Rhodey shook his head. "I wish someone had intel or a country had claimed it. Nothing. The US military wants that information as much as you do."

"If we can find out where the suit is from--"

"It's not going to release all of your memories," Rhodey told him like he was crazy. "It's just something to keep you busy."

"He's right," Bruce spoke up.

Tony sighed and sat down. "Maybe I just need a hard reboot."

"You're not a computer, Tony," Rhodey argued.

"Actually," Bruce said as he held up a finger. "It's not such a crazy thought."

Tony changed the holographic image to his suit. Iron Man. "Maybe if I get back into the suit and we recreate the trauma…"

"You almost died!" Rhodey brought up.

"It would be worth the risk!"

"Give me a baseball bat and I'll just beat some sense into you right now!"

Bruce shook his head. "There has to be another way that's safer."

"You could just stop stalling and let me do it MY way," Tony complained.

"It's the WRONG way," Bruce argued.

"Maybe I don't want to marry you."

Rhodey was the confused one now. "Wait… What did I miss?"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"I'm Tony Stark," he said quickly as he tried to catch his breath. "My wife… She's pregnant… She was brought here…" He'd run from the car and his heart was pounding so hard and so loud that he could hear it in his ears.

"Her name will either be listed as Virginia Potts or Stark. Maybe by Pepper instead of Virginia," Natasha told the woman at the desk calmly a moment later as she came up behind Tony.

"She's not been placed in a room yet," the woman said. "You're going to have to--"

"What does that mean?!" Tony asked as he leaned forward on the desk. He felt like he was going to lose his mind if they didn't let him see her. 

This was his fault.

Bruce grabbed him and gently guided him away from the desk. "It means that we have to wait down here…"

"I should be with her!" he said and felt absolutely helpless. He started to pace. It was all he could really do. "I don't even know what's happening!"

"She was having really severe abdominal pain," Bruce explained. "You were TOLD that when we were alerted on the helicarrier."

Tony didn't remember anything past them saying that Pepper had been rushed to the hospital. After some time of wearing a line into the floor, he finally sat down. Tony found a point on the wall and just stared at it as they waited.

Some time later, they were finally allowed to head up to the maternity ward. All they'd say was that the doctor wanted to talk to Tony. He just wanted to see Pepper, but he dreaded the words the doctor would say. If they rushed her to the hospital then it had to be serious…

A doctor was waiting for them when they made it to the correct floor. It was after visiting hours, so the waiting area wasn't populated by anyone else. "Mr. Stark," the doctor greeted. "I'm Doctor Maxwell. I've been treating your wife tonight--"

"Are they okay?" he blurted out. Tony HAD to know that first. "Pepper and the baby?"

"They're both stable," the doctor said. "Pepper is resting and your son's vitals looked perfect when I left them a few minutes ago."

He nodded and allowed himself to breathe.

"I understand that she's had complications with past pregnancies, so we're going to just keep her overnight as a precaution," the doctor explained. "It's just for observation and she can go home in the morning as long as everything checks out."

"You're running every test, right?" Tony asked. He felt like this was all his fault. Maybe if he hadn't left--

"Of course, Mr. Stark."

"Can I see her?"

"I'll let you see her through a window, but she needs to rest," the doctor told him.

"Of course," Tony said. He really wanted to go into the room and actually SEE her… TOUCH her…

Apologize.

The doctor led them through the doors and into the maternity ward. They moved down another hall and the doctor motioned to the window. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Mr. Stark." The doctor left them a moment later.

Tony sucked in breath as he stared at her through the window. Pepper had a blue hospital gown on and was half covered with a sheet, far too many tubes and wires were connected to her for his liking. The doctor said that they were stable, he reminded himself. Pepper was asleep though and looked peaceful.

"I screwed up," Tony whispered.

"We're going to make this work," Bruce told him. He sighed. "I'll go in and run Stark and we'll both go back to the house and make sure the girls are okay."

"Happy is with them," Natasha spoke up.

"Yeah, he's going to be the one to kill me," Tony said. He still blamed himself.

"He won't," Natasha told him. "At least not in front of Sophia and Charlie."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	9. Guilt

Clean.

Quiet.

Sterile.

White.

Bright.

It was too bright or too dark. Pepper swore that the hospital lights never offered her the perfect level that she wanted. She’d caught herself asking JARVIS to adjust it, only to realize that JARVIS wasn’t there. Pepper really hated having to stay there. All she knew was that both she and the baby were stable. She knew that that should be all that mattered to her, but it wasn’t. Pepper wanted to know IF she was going to be released, better yet…WHEN.

With Tony not…well, Tony, SHE had to make sure everything with Stark Industries was running properly. There was SO much to do and SO much paperwork that she knew that she was already behind on. Pepper was trying to at least do some things via her phone, but she was already past ten percent battery with no charger to bring it back to life once it died.

The door opened and a familiar face with what looked like quite possibly everything she could need. “Happy!” she greeted brightly.

“If you’re doing work, then I’m keeping the charger and the tablet,” Happy told her far too seriously as he set a bag on the chair, handed Pepper her pillow, and then let the rolling luggage stand upright by itself.

“Only e-mails.”

Happy frowned. “You’re IN the HOSPITAL. I’m fairly sure you’re supposed to be laying back RESTING and either napping or watching TV. Downton Abbey might be on.”

Pepper greatly appreciated Happy, but sometimes even though he meant well…he was just too intense for her. “Thank you for bringing my pillow and everything else.”

“Sophia helped.”

“How are they?” she asked. That was another thing. Pepper hated to think that Sophia and Charlie were home worrying about her. She wanted to be home with her children.

“Scared. Worried,” Happy informed her. 

“Who’s home with them?” she questioned curiously. There were very few people that they trusted at the house and who they trusted with the girls.

“JARVIS,” Happy said. He sighed. “And…Tony and Bruce.”

“Tony?” she asked in a whisper. She hadn’t expected him to come back, not after he’d left. She’d known that things were hard for him (it was hard for all of them), but in the end…Pepper knew that she couldn’t keep Tony on a leash. He needed to be free to find out whatever he needed, no matter how much it hurt her.

“Yeah,” Happy replied quietly as he made himself comfortable on the chair after plugging in her phone to charge. “They showed up here at the hospital with Natasha. SHIELD must have some…gadget…thing…that knows when certain people are brought in.”

“Tony came?”

Happy nodded. “He’s worried.” He paused. “We ALL are.”

“I feel better.”

“You CAN’T push yourself.”

“I know.”

“Please let Bruce run Stark Industries—“

“That’s the plan, Happy,” she told him as she adjusted her pillow and tried to get comfortable. Pepper was about to go on when there was a quick knock before the door opened. The doctor walked in and Pepper couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say.

“Are you feeling better this morning?” the doctor asked.

“Yes,” Pepper confirmed.

“Both sets of vitals have been strong and all of the tests have come back normal,” the doctor said. “That’s what we’re concerned about. The complications you were experiencing last night were most likely due to stress. Your blood pressure was elevated, but it’s lower this morning. We’re going to keep you for a few more hours to monitor you. If everything is still strong and stable then I don’t see a problem sending you home.”

“The baby’s okay, though?”

The doctor nodded. “You’re twenty-five weeks. Last night we double-checked all of your son’s organs, as well as to just make sure we hadn’t missed anything.” He paused. “Your son is strong and healthy and I’m hoping that with BED REST that we won’t see either of you for another fifteen weeks.”

“When you say bed rest—“ Happy started to ask. 

The doctor looked to Happy for a moment and then directly to Pepper. “I DO mean bed rest. No physical activity past walking to the bathroom.” He paused. “No lifting. No stress.”

“I’ll try,” Pepper told him.

“You need to do it, Mrs. Stark.”

“I have Stark Industries to worry about,” Pepper reminded and looked towards Happy. He understood far more than the doctor exactly what was going on with Tony and what being CEO of that company involved.

“Leave it to Bruce,” Happy said firmly. “That’s why he’s here, right?”

Pepper sighed. “Sophia and Charlie—“

“Will be happy you’re home,” Happy put out there quickly. “And I’ll do whatever else needs to be done.”

“It looks like you have a support system,” the doctor told her. “You just need to utilize it.”

Pepper knew that it wouldn’t be easy. She was just used to running everything, especially since Tony’s accident. It was hard for her to let go of all of the control, especially after they’d worked so hard over the past few days to really work out co-CEO-ing Stark Industries. She wasn’t even handing it over to Tony… Pepper knew that she could trust Bruce, but it was still hard to do.

“You NEED to relax,” Happy said.

“I need a spa day…” Pepper whispered as she slouched down in her bed with her arms crossed over her chest.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Being home was so much better than being at the hospital. Both of her girls had been happy to have her home, they’d curled up in bed with her and watched a movie together before they’d vanished. She hadn’t seen Tony, but Pepper didn’t want to ask where he was for fear of disappointment. It really was going to be hard being on bed rest and Pepper had a whole list of reasons why.

Since she was trying to relax more, Pepper had told herself that she wouldn’t check e-mail or social media more than once every two hours. Right now she was going on THREE hours, so she felt like it was more than a good time. Her e-mails were fairly standard and didn’t take long to take the correct actions. When it came to social media, she had NO idea how to respond to the overwhelming…response to her and Tony’s public behavior and appearances since his accidents. They were simply ridiculous. 

 

Pepper Potts miscarried at twenty weeks. Starks are devastated. 

Tony Stark has left Pepper Potts for his mistress he’s been keeping in Stark Tower.

CPS investigating Stark Family for possibility of endangerment and neglect.

Pepper Potts cheating on Tony Stark with drive, Happy Hogan.

Pepper Potts in a relationship with husband’s best friend, Bruce Banner.

Pepper Potts secretly dating Natasha Romanoff. Tony Stark approves.

 

A knock interrupted the seemingly never-ending twist of lies she’d been looking over. She was surprised that no one had declared Tony dead and that she’d murdered him. Pepper looked over to see Bruce standing there in her doorway.

“Hi,” he said with a slight wave.

She knew that the proper response was a greeting in return, but she just held up her phone. “Have you seen all of these?”

“Twitter?”

Pepper nodded. “I can’t believe some of these people…”

Bruce smiled and moved towards her. “I personally liked the one about how you killed Tony and have his body hidden in the house.”

Apparently she hadn’t read the best ones yet. “So, Tony’s got a mistress…but apparently I’m cheating with you, Happy, AND Natasha.”

“I DID see the one where it says that you and Natasha are together and that Tony approves,” Bruce said with a grin. “If anyone knew Tony, they’d know that he’d been terrified of the two of you together.”

Pepper beamed at that thought. “Poor Tony…”

“Speaking of Tony,” Bruce said. “He’s in the workshop. He didn’t want to leave again unless he had your blessing—“

“My blessing?” she asked in confusion.

Bruce sighed. “He thinks—“

“He thinks that it’s his fault that I ended up in the hospital.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll speak to him later.”

“He REALLY wanted to see you, but he thinks that you’ll be upset and he really just dove into this whole thing he has in his head. He thinks that finding that suit will fix everything.”

“I know that you probably want to help Tony, but I REALLY need your help and I should have called you sooner,” Pepper told him.

“You know that I’ll help,” Bruce replied.

“I need your focus to be running the company,” she said seriously. “I can’t have you off with Tony—“

“I can balance it all, don’t worry…”

“I DO worry, actually…”

“Pepper, Tony needs me, too.”

“The company—“

“I’ll make it work,” Bruce told her. “I promise. I’ve already been catching up on what I need to know for Stark Industries.”

Pepper eyed him. “How?” She didn’t know if he was just saying that to make her feel more at ease…or if it was actually true.

Bruce shrugged. “I logged into Tony’s account.”

“You did?”

“I know Tony.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Pepper had waited until everyone was in bed before she finally ventured into the workshop to check on Tony. She knew that Happy would fuss and that the girls had been steering clear of the workshop. Pepper just really didn’t want to upset anyone, but this was still her life to live…and Tony Stark was still her husband.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she thought it was odd that the door was open, but Tony wasn’t exactly himself so she just proceeded cautiously. She found him tucked away half asleep on the floor as JARVIS played something…a fight between them…JARVIS had been recording because Tony had been testing a new suit mark at the time. Pepper really didn’t know what to think about it. Was he just trying to feel like he knew her? Or was he hoping that it would jog some memories?

Whatever the reason, she stayed quiet and stayed back while it played.

“You missed dinner,” Pepper told him quietly once the movie ended.

“You should be upstairs,” he said quietly and full of concern as he turned towards her. He paused. “I didn’t think anyone WANTED to see me for dinner.”

“Of course they did.”

“Happy HATES me,” Tony said slowly. “And I can’t blame him.”

“He doesn’t—“

He interrupted her and she could see that it was clear that Tony fully believed what he was saying. “I look back at what I remember, what I’ve got in notes, and the videos…and let’s face it…Happy’s been there for you through everything—“

“But I love YOU,” Pepper told him as she moved closer to him. “You don’t think I know ALL about your past? I do, Tony…you should at least know THAT. I probably know it all better than Happy because he excuses some of the behavior you used to have and writes it off on basically being Tony Stark and being a guy.”

“I feel like those valid excuses,” Tony said with no heart in it.

Pepper smiled in response. “I married you anyway…”

“I wouldn’t have been the man you married if you hadn’t come into my life and put up with me,” Tony told her. “I’ve decided that.”

“We’re a team.”

“Are we?”

Pepper closed the distance between them and ran her hands up and down his arms. “You might not remember everything right now, but we are…we’re definitely a team…in life, in his marriage, in parenting, and in the company.”

“I—“ Tony started, stopped, and then looked down.

She didn’t remember another time where she’d seen him and he’d looked so small. Pepper knew that he was struggling, but he hated that Tony seemed to think he was so alone. 

“It’s my fault—“

“No,” she said firmly without missing a beat.

Tony looked up at her. “If I hadn’t screwed things up—“

“You didn’t!”

“I did,” Tony insisted firmly. “You were supposed to be home with the girls and not stressing about the company or me or—“

“I shouldn’t have pushed to take Rescue out again,” Pepper told him.

“Pepper…”

“Why did you come back?” she asked after a minute. It had been bugging her. If Tony had made the decision to leave, then why was he so quick to come back? Was it really guilt? Pepper just wanted to know where they stood and what to expect going forward.

“I wanted to be close to you.”

That was enough.

She didn’t need to hear some emotional outpour or something that sounded rehearsed. Tony had told her the truth, which was exactly what she’d wanted to hear. It was enough for her to feel like her Tony was still somewhere inside and continue to hope of getting him back.

Pepper leaned in and kissed his forehead before hugging him. “You need to sleep.”

“You need to be in bed,” he echoed as he squeezed her.

“Come up and at least talk to me… Keep me company?” Pepper requested as she released him.

“Are you sure?”

Pepper nodded. “Natasha isn’t here to threaten you with pain—“

“I’m fairly sure it was death,” Tony told her as he put his arm around her back and they started to walk towards the stairs. “Possibly dismemberment.”

Pepper laughed. “And Bruce and Happy are both asleep.”

“Happy probably creepily sleeps with one eye open,” he told her as they headed up the stairs.

Her laughter continued. “No death tonight for you…just a quiet evening in with your wife.”

“That’s the best plan I’ve heard.”

“I thought you might think so.”

 

*~*~*~*~*

TBC…


	10. I'm so sorry, Pepper

She was beautiful and so much better than he deserved, memories or no memories. Her red hair was loose and long as it pooled around her shoulders. Pepper had fallen asleep on his couch in the workshop and he’d not had the heart to wake her. It wasn’t necessary and he knew that if one of the girls needed something that Bruce and Happy were both upstairs, they could also talk to JARVIS. He was also fairly sure that they’d be smart enough to venture downstairs into his workshop even though he was pretty positive that he’d scared them off…possibly permanently. He was a horrible person.

Tony Stark hadn’t run away from the house, but he was still determined to get his memories back. He’d thought that maybe if he could summon the mystery suit that maybe…just maybe…he’d get his memories back. He thought of it like facing a fear…or a trauma… The problem in that was that Pepper had locked him out of all of the suits. Past working on the broken suit, he was screwed. JARVIS kept telling him all too politely that he didn’t have access to that file…which was about half of his database. 

“Can you try denying me a little quieter?” Tony questioned with irritation.

“Afraid I’ll wake Ms. Potts?”

“Mrs. Stark.”

“That’s what I said, Sir.”

Tony sighed and pressed the heels of his hands hard against his face. He was exhausted, frustrated, and just plain angry. JARVIS was pretty high on his list of reasons for just about everything… Darn AI, he’d created him… How was it that he seemed to favor Pepper more than him? Tony thought about it for a moment and realized that he really couldn’t fault JARVIS on that, it was Pepper, everyone loved her more than him. 

“JARVIS, how upset would you be if I hacked your system?” Tony asked as he started to do it without waiting for a response. 

“I don’t think MY retaliation is what you have to worry about in this instant, Sir, but that of Ms. Potts and SHIELD.”

“Valid point,” Tony said. 

“And might I remind you that these files have been kept from you for specific reasons.”

“Okay, now…you’re just sounding a little too much like Bruce.”

“Doctor Banner is a smart man.”

Tony frowned. “Seriously? You like Bruce better than me?”

“I claim no preference, Sir.”

“Uh..huh…”

This was HIS system, he reminded himself as he hacked it. For some reason, he felt guilty. Maybe it was because he KNEW that JARVIS had been almost like a constant best friend even from the time he COULD remember. Now, he was trying to hack the system. Or maybe it was just because JARVIS was his creation and he didn’t want to tamper with it… No matter, he was going to do it anyways. He needed to see all of the files and have access to all the Iron Man Marks they had on hand.

“What’s the largest amount of suits that I had active all at the same time?” Tony asked. When JARVIS didn’t respond, he sighed and tilted his head to the sigh. “I’m not asking for blueprints…it’s just a question. I’m curious… It’s ME, JARVIS.”

“Bringing up the marks on your screen now,” JARVIS responded.

Tony just stared at them all. “They were all operational at the same time?”

“They COULD have been,” JARVIS told him. “These suits were destroyed when the mansion was destroyed.” JARVIS highlighted the top row of suits. “The rest were part of your Cellar, Sir.”

“Cellar, huh?”

“They were meant to be kept secret.”

Of course they were, he thought. “How many do I have now?” he questioned.

Light lit up around him to the cases around the room. Each case was labeled and Tony frowned. “Seriously, there’s ONE Iron Man suit, War Machine, and Rescue? What kind of craziness was that for planning?” The War Machine suit wasn’t even in the case. Tony had a feeling that it was rarely there. The Iron Man armor was still on his table since it was nonfunctional and pretty much scrap metal now… Rescue was the only armor set in place.

“Love, Sir.”

“Love?”

“You enacted the Clean Slate Protocol upon Ms. Potts saving your life, thus destroying every suit except Iron Patriot at the time,” JARVIS explained. “Rescue and two additional Iron Man suits were machined after.”

“TWO?” Tony asked.

“Yes, Sir.”

“What happened to the other suit?”

“Nothing, Sir.”

Tony’s mouth hung open as he waited for JARVIS to finish answering his question. When he said nothing more, he was fairly sure that Pepper had to have something to do with his programming because normally JARVIS was really quite efficient when it came to giving him all the answers that he needed. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“The other suit?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Avoiding the question?”

“Of course not,” JARVIS responded in his perfectly polite English accent. Tony swore that the accent didn’t help things; it only made him more irritating. “Perhaps you didn’t ask the correct question.”

“Where. Is. The. Other. Iron. Man. Suit?” he asked all too slowly and made sure he was asking it clearly. How more direct could he get? He wasn’t asking for anything that Pepper didn’t want him to have, he just wanted the location.

“In the case, Sir.”

Tony looked between the screen in front of him and the Iron Man armor case. It was still empty and he was confused. Maybe he needed to run a scan of JARVIS’ program to make sure that there wasn’t some kind of glitch, because even as he hacked in…he knew that he wasn’t the one causing the problem. “I don’t see it…”

“It’s in the storage compartment.”

“There’s a storage compartment?” Tony asked and looked back at the case. Before he could ask another question, the back to the Iron Man case slid back and a new suit pushed into place. “Ah… That’s nifty…”

“Sir, you understand that I must resist your attempts at overriding my systems,” JARVIS spoke up after a few minutes.

“I really don’t because I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be the boss,” Tony told him as he continued to mess with the system code. He HAD to shut JARVIS down. Tony didn’t know how he was going to get to the point where he could be himself if he didn’t have the access to EVERYTHING. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Tony had finally successfully gained access to his complete system and database. He’d been working on trying to figure out how he could find the mystery suit. He’d found in the data from the incident that the other suit had a similar signature to the arc reactors used in his suits. It was possible, he’d realized, to use the SHIELD satellites…and pretty much any other satellite that he decided to task…to scan for that specific signature. 

He’d already carried Pepper upstairs to their bedroom and tucked in her, promising her that he’d come and say goodnight to her when he finally went to bed. He DID need sleep, but he wasn’t quite ready yet. His attention turned to the suit in the case. Now that he had full access, he could get the suit out of the case without a crowbar and even give it a test drive, though he was fairly sure that JARVIS was uploaded in the system…he had an idea around it. If he was going to get himself back, then he needed to test-drive the suit, so he could use it. 

Before the test-drive, he finished up with a few things that had to be programmed into the house system. He’d put the whole system into a safe mode while he tinkered. Tony had programmed a message for Pepper, instructions for JARVIS to follow upon reboot, and a countdown until full systems shut down and reboot. This was all to start when he got back from his test-drive. 

Turning towards the case, he took in the sight of his genius for a long moment and took a final minute to ponder if this was REALLY the best idea. He knew that Pepper would be upset with him and that the last time he’d done something stupid that he’d ended up in the hospital, but at the same time…he felt like he HAD to do something… This was the only thing he knew how to do correctly right now. Pepper deserved to have her husband back before that baby was born…

“Time to be Iron Man,” Tony told himself as he moved to the case. He pulled open the case door and looked over the suit for a moment. He’d looked over diaries and blueprints now. He knew how much he’d messed up with test-drives in the past, he just hoped that this went a little smoother. Tony got the suit to open and stepped inside, it closed up around him and the HUD came online. “Let’s hope that muscle memory is all that really is needed…”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It was like his body knew exactly what to do and re-taught him how to fly the Iron Man suit. There had been a couple of moments where he’d thought that he was going to die, but he’d recovered. He’d come back alive and the suit only had a couple of dents and scrapes. He moved upstairs with the suit still on. Tony knew that he was going to hate himself in the morning…because he hated himself now. This was possibly going to be the worst thing that he’d ever done to a person that he loved…

Tony parked the suit outside of the bedroom before entering it quietly. The countdown had started until full house system shut down and reboot. He had to be out before the reboot. He’d made it so that JARVIS couldn’t remotely control the suit, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to test it by being too close to the mansion when it rebooted. 

Pepper.

He stared at her asleep in bed for a moment. She was in the middle of their bed, hugging a pillow and with the covers only half covering her. Tony wished that he could feel okay with just staying there with her and living that life… He wanted to. It would have been so easy… Pepper had made it easy. The diaries and journals and everything else had told him all about how he’d fallen in love with her, but now…now, it felt like he’d fallen in love with her for a second time. 

And he was throwing it all away.

Tony slowly moved towards the bed. He crawled in and wrapped his arms around him. All he wanted was this one last moment with her… “Hey Pep,” he whispered and kissed her cheek. 

“Tony,” she mumbled. Her hands covered his. 

“I’m sorry, Pepper,” he whispered as tears fell. Tony nuzzled her neck and took the time to take in her scent. She smelled so good; he knew that she’d showered before going down to the workshop earlier. She smelt like rosemary and he wasn’t quite sure what else. He just wanted to be able to remember everything about her… “I’m so sorry…”

He had to go. 

Tony shifted in the bed and kissed her forehead before sliding out of the bed. Another moment, he took to stare at her sleeping form before he straightened the covers so that they properly covered her. 

This could have been his life.

He could have been happy there.

He should have been content with it.

With his head down, Tony left the bedroom. He closed the door as quietly as possible before turning to his waiting suit. 

The house went completely dark except for the dim glow of the interior lights of the suit. Tony stepped in and let the suit envelope him. He moved towards the balcony. It was time to go and he knew that no matter how much he wanted to stay, that this was the only way that he could ever be content living another man’s life…to know that he’d done everything possible in order to get his memory back.

“Set course,” Tony spoke up. “SHIELD helicarrier.”

I’m so sorry, Pepper.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	11. Some Comfort

It was three o'clock in the morning and Pepper had woken to use the bathroom and realized something was wrong. The house had a specific lighting protocol after everyone went to bed. That wasn't on now. Pepper had tried to talk to JARVIS, but nothing. She'd used the bathroom in the darkness before trying to find the box herself.

"Mommy? Daddy?"

Pepper stopped and turned around. In order to restore power, she'd have to go down to the workshop in order to restore power. She couldn't go down there and leave Charlie up there in the dark panicking. "Don't move, Baby. Mommy's coming," she called.

One thing Pepper knew for certain as she moved in the dark towards her youngest daughter, Tony wasn't at the house. There was no way that he would be there and not have gotten everything and took her hand as she led her back to where she'd been before. "It's okay," she told her daughter. "The power just went out."

"There's a back-up," Charlie told her.

"It's not working."

"Daddy can fix it."

"I know," Pepper whispered a little sadly.

"Pepper?!" Bruce shouted.

A beam of light headed towards them and finally Happy, Bruce, and Sophia's forms came into view. "The box downstairs needs to be flipped."

"We should go together," Bruce suggested.

Pepper wanted to argue, but she knew that it was the best plan. She just didn't want the girls worrying about Tony when they realized that he wasn't downstairs in his workshop.

So, together they moved down the stairs. Pepper held tightly to the rail and was thankful that Happy was carrying Charlie, so she didn't have to worry about her daughter tumbling down the stairs. Once they were on flat ground they all moved in the direction of where the power boxes where located.

"Has this ever happened before?" Bruce asked.

"I think I've only been in the house ONCE where it went completely dark, but it wasn't for more than five minutes," Pepper explained.

"Don't forget that one time that Stark Tower went dark for twenty minutes," Happy reminded.

Pepper stepped forward and opened the boxes. She studied them for a moment, trying to remember what Tony had told her before. He'd wanted to put ridiculous labeling and confusing signage, but she'd told him he couldn't...now she almost regretted it. "It should just be enough to flip the main switches. Tony once said that these others shouldn't be touched unless JARVIS doesn't come online."

"Let me do it," Bruce said. "Just to be safe."

She nodded and stepped back. It was hard because she wanted to throw those switches. Pepper hated to stand back and let someone else do it. She watched as Bruce flipped the switches and it almost felt like the house was being brought back to life. There was a gentle hum that filled her ears as the night light protocol kicked on.

"The house has been offline for two hours and thirty-seven minutes," JARVIS reported. "I have detected a glitch in the programmed reboot."

"WHY was there a reboot?" Pepper questioned.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Potts," JARVIS responded. "I regret to inform you that Mr. Stark broke through my defenses and was able to see data that had been previously restricted from his view."

Pepper sighed and then was painfully aware that Sophia and Charlie were there. "Girls, do you think that Happy could tuck you both back in?"

"Where's Daddy?" Sophia questioned.

"I'm not sure, Sweetie, but I'm going to find out," she said gently. She didn't miss how disappointed both girls seemed, but especially Sophia. It only took a moment before her daughters started back up the stairs with Happy. "Thank you, Happy."

"Don't stay down here long," Happy called. "You need your sleep, too."

"JARVIS, did Tony take the extra suit?" Pepper asked after a moment. She'd noticed that the Iron Man display case was open when the light protocol had come online. She knew that Tony held a back-up suit in that case...just in case.

"I'm afraid so," JARVIS responded.

"Can we track it?"

"Tracking is offline."

"Maybe SHIELD can help," Bruce suggested. "But that can wait."

"Ms. Potts, before you contact SHIELD, may I first suggest that you listen to the message that Mr. Stark left you upon reboot?" JARVIS offered.

Pepper looked over at Bruce. She didn't know what was in the message, but she wanted to listen to it on her own. Tony was her husband. "Do you mind if I listened to it privately?" Pepper asked.

"Of course not," Bruce responded. "Just promise me that you'll get me if you need me...and that you'll sleep?"

"I promise."

It was an easy promise to make.

Pepper waited until she didn't hear Bruce's footfalls any longer. "JARVIS, play the message."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It had been four weeks since Tony had left the house, but each day still felt empty and wrong to Pepper. She'd tried to mask her feelings, though, for the sake of the girls...and for her sanity as far as Happy was concerned. SHIELD said that they were tracking him, but Pepper was fairly sure that they were covering for him. She had a feeling that Tony was up on the helicarrier. At least she knew that with that likelihood that he was safe.

"You're quiet."

"I'm sorry," she whispered in response, but she really wasn't paying attention. Her focus was on the sky as the world outside sped by.

"He should be here," Happy started his rant. This went on at least once a day and normally when she was a captive audience. Pepper knew that Happy meant well just the same.

He was right.

"He shouldn't have run off leaving you worrying about him and everything else."

He was right.

"He should be spending time with Sophia and Charlie."

He was right.

"He should be going to these appointments with you."

He was right.

"The doctor said the same thing that he's been saying," Pepper told Happy. She knew that he wanted to know, but wouldn't come right out and ask her. "I need more sleep, to relax, to hydrate better, probably add some more protein to my diet, and less stress."

"So, what do you want for lunch? Dinner?" Happy asked. "A nice juicy steak?"

"I was thinking chicken salad and then salmon with veggies for dinner...you all can eat steak or whatever else for dinner," she said as she knew that the others really didn't like salmon.

"Maybe I should pick up some ice cream."

Pepper blurted out a laugh. "Are you trying to fatten me up?"

"You're pregnant. You're going to gain weight…"

Pepper shook her head. Happy was just trying to be kind and helpful, she knew. "The doctor said my weight is just where it should be, just so you know." It was odd to talk to Happy about things like that, but she knew that he was trying to be there in Tony's place. "If I gain TOO much, then that could create more complications."

"No ice cream then," Happy decided. He was quiet for a few moments before speaking up again. "And just for the record, I don't think there's ANY way that you could gain TOO much weight," he told her matter of factly.

"You're sweet, Happy."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Sometimes during the day, she wondered how she was going to make it through the next day. There were so many times that she'd think about Tony and when she'd want to share something with him. Today was one of those days. They were spending some time on a private beach just so the girls could enjoy some time out. The beach being private meant that they could hide from paparazzi as well, which helped with the mood of the day. It was calming and she KNEW that it was a good distraction for both of the girls.

"How did I get talked into this?" Happy asked.

Sophia and Charlie giggled before running towards the water. Sophia was in a lilac bathing suit with ruffle and sparkle accents. Charlie was wearing a yellow rashguard with a robot on it and bright pink bottoms. Both girls had their hair braided and were carrying their kick boards. 

"You love us," Pepper reminded him.

Happy was wearing a dark blue rash guard with a pair of trunks that Sophia convinced him he needed. He had wanted to just get dark blue ones, but Sophia had convinced him that the ones with the white and bright pink hawaiian flowers were a better choice. Sophia had a gift…maybe a superpower. He was also wearing a floppy hat and she swore way too much sunblock. He sat down in the chair next to her under the oversized umbrella. "You have sunscreen, right?"

"Seventy-five SPF."

"And water--"

"Have it.

"And--"

"Happy," she said as she looked towards him and slide her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose. "I'm going to lay back and relax...maybe nap…like the doctor said."

He nodded quickly. "Good, good," he said. "I'll watch the girls then. So, don't worry about them."

Pepper pushed her glasses back up and let the back of her chair down until it was flat. She grabbed a towel and rolled it up before putting it under her head. Pulling out her tablet, she started to link to JARVIS, so that she could try to see if she could get an update from SHIELD.

"You're not supposed to be working," Happy reminded.

"I'm checking for an e-mail from Natasha," she told him. Of course, she was also going to check on Stark Industries, but she just wanted to check those e-mails along with the stock. With Bruce running the company, it was supposed to make things less stressful, but she still had to check in on things. She had to make sure that things really were running right. The last thing that Pepper wanted to deal with was the board on top of everything else. Easier to take care of things as they went along instead of finding out later that everything had gone ot hell.

As she logged into the Stark Secure Server, she noticed something new pop up. JARVIS had been working on accessing further into SHIELD's sytems in order for them to keep tabs on Tony as well. A map had come up with dots symbolizing all suit locations. Right now, it showed Iron Man at the helicarrier and it brought a sense of comfort. Pepper was happy that he wasn't just roaming the world alone. He was with people that would look out for him and help him, if needed.

"How's Tony?"

Happy's question caught her by surprise. She turned to look at him for a moment before responding. "It looks like Tony's on the SHIELD helicarrier," she told him and then checked her e-mail. Sure enough, there was one there from Natasha.

 

Pepper,  
He's fine.  
\- Natasha

 

Her e-mails tended to be short and almost vague. Pepper had a feeling that it was to keep information from her along with keeping from lying.

"Mommy!" Charlie squeaked.

Pepper looked up quickly to find Sophia laughing and untangling seaweed from her little sister's ankle as Charlie sat on the sand. Maybe her tablet could wait...at least for a bit.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	12. Nothing's Invincible

"You checking in every five minutes now?"

Tony paused for a minute. "May-be."

"You know that she misses you, right? The girls ask about you every night."

Sometimes he didn't know how he and Bruce were friends. Times like these when he knew exactly how to guilt him. It didn't even sound like it was something he had to think about. Tony swore that that made it even worse.

He wanted to see Pepper.

He wanted to see the girls.

Tony kept having to remind himself that he was doing all of this for them. It was the only way that he could keep himself on track.

"JARVIS, update the picture, would you?"

Though he'd severed connections with the JARVIS he was used to, Tony had recreated one. He liked to think of it as the basic, dumbed down, unsophisticated version. It was basically a voice that took his commands and would report in. It was crude and certainly not an AI with a smooth British accent and a personality. He was only calling him JARVIS out of habit. The picture of Pepper and the girls changed on his HUD. It was a Christmas picture taken by the tree and somehow it made him feel all the more guilty.

"Bruce, you know you're the worst friend in the world, right?" Tony asked.

"Why? Because I'm keeping secrets from Pepper? Every time she asks about you, I have to lie, Tony, and--"

"I know," Tony said with a sigh. He knew how much it ate at Bruce to lie to Pepper, but it was unavoidable at the moment.

"Pepper can't take care of the girls and a new baby on her own, you know."

She could.

Actually.

Tony knew that Pepper was a lot stronger and a lot more organized with things than he was. If Pepper REALLY wanted to, she could do it all. The thing was, she shouldn't have to. Pepper should be able to enjoy her pregnancy, the new baby, and balance family without worrying about it all at once on top of Stark Industries. It was too much. Tony KNEW that she could do it, but she just shouldn't have to.

"You and Happy are there," Tony told him.

"Tony--"

"I'm working on a timetable," Tony interrupted. "I WANT to be home before that baby's born. I want to be there for Pepper…like she deserves."

"You've got eight weeks until her due date, Tony."

"I'm shooting for four," he said. He wanted to be home before Pepper had the baby, some time to really savor that final part of the pregnancy and assure her that he was going to really be there for her and the kids going forward.

"Isn't that a bit optimistic?"

Tony tilted his head as he processed Bruce's words. "I really don't think optimistic is the best descriptor, do you?"

"Delusional's really a better one."

"Excellent."

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

Bruce was quiet for a long beat. "Do you REALLY think this is the best option?"

"Better than breaking Pepper's heart, traumatizing my kids, and running Stark Industries into the ground...don't you think?"

"I think you don't give yourself or anyone else enough credit."

"Maybe," he said quietly. "But I think we all need the space," Tony told him. "I have to go… Fury's giving me the eye."

"Okay, just keep in touch, okay?"

"Try."

The call ended and Tony sighed as he stared at his home from a safe distance. He'd upgraded the armor with reflector panels, but the original JARVIS system was smart. Obviously TOO smart. He just wanted to be careful. Tony didn't need JARVIS alerting the house of his presence. 

Not yet anyway.

Home.

Close, yet so far.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"That thing is fast."

"Faster than my suit," Tony brought up with a frustrated sigh. He ran his hand over his face and turned away from the tabletop map and Natasha. He needed more sleep, but he found it hard to sleep. They'd found a way to track the mystery armor's power signature, but so far the damn thing was too fast and always seemed to be moving. 

"You know Pepper still thinks she's tracking you...tracking what we know," Natasha told him.

"It's not the right info though," Tony reminded. They were all in on it. It was for Pepper's safety and sanity. Tony really didn't want her to have ANY information or anyway to get information. He knew that he would be going crazy if he were in her place. He had all kinds of information at that and Tony felt like his sanity was still questionable at this point.

"You know," Natasha told him slowly from where she was standing off to the side. "I really don't like lying to Pepper…"

"You've said that," he said as he pretty much ignored her. Tony just couldn't get distracted by her. He was sure that she MEANT well, but she was still a distraction. A deadly and quite gorgeous one, but still a distraction just the same.

"Maria and I both agree."

Tony looked up at her. "Fury knows how to recruit all the scary and dangerous women of the world, doesn't he?"

Natasha just stared at him, obviously unamused.

"It's a compliment."

"Are you sure?"

"I feel like I might be risking my life by responding to your query."

"I think you can't take what you dish out."

Tony shrugged. "What does this have to do with all of this again?" he questioned as he motioned to the map in front of him.

"Pepper's STILL too good for you."

"Well established fact."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"This is amazing!"

Tony leaned back against his desk, arms folded as he watched Bruce look over the information they'd collected since they'd last talked. Natasha was still watching him, though keeping silent now. She was probably waiting for the perfect time to make the perfect comment. "It's TOO fast," Bruce pointed out. "I'm not sure if there's actually going to be a way to intercept it. Or does its path have a pattern?"

"Not one that JARVIS or I have figured out yet."

Bruce smiled now and shook his head. "You need to name it something else."

"What's wrong--"

"It's NOT JARVIS."

"It doesn't betray me."

Bruce chuckled. "It's also nowhere as smart as JARVIS."

"Do you have a better suggestion?" Tony asked. He figured that right now was as good as any to discuss the topic. It was a nice change of pace. 

"Bob."

Tony's mouth dropped open as the offending name rolled out. "Bob?" he questioned harshly and all too slowly.

"Bob's nowhere near as competent as JARVIS," Bruce told him. "JARVIS stands for Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. Bob is a system...that's IT."

"He can HEAR you," Tony whispered.

"I don't think his feelings are hurt."

"I'm just trying to make all of this work," Tony defended as he motioned around him. He didn't want to be on the helicarrier in a lab that wasn't his with...Bob, but it was what he had to do right now. "There's only so much I can do here...with all of this…"

"You could go back to designing and building weapons," Natasha spoke up. Tony felt like this was some kind of test. "I wouldn't mind a suit…"

Instead of discussing that topic further, he changed subjects. "Maybe it's about time we bring Rhodey in on this."

"The other suit is STILL too fast for both of you, Tony," Bruce started to argue.

"I know," Tony replied quietly. "But I promised him I'd contact him when we got closer. We're closer."

"This might be as close as we're going to get," Bruce said. "Whenever it seems to get pinpointed, it's gone in a flash."

"Nothing's invincible."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	13. Come Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> November is National Novel Writing Month. So, when NaNoWriMo is on, it takes me about 10 times longer to update. Keep an eye on twitter @shannyfish for updates and sneak peeks for upcoming chapters.

"You didn’t NEED to come in,” Bruce insisted as he walked with a very determined Pepper.

Stark Industries would not fall while she was on medical leave. She was thirty-four weeks and still had plenty of time before the baby was due. Pepper had been doing a lot not to stress, but when she’d gotten a call from Bruce that he had a question, she felt the need to check things in person. She couldn’t help it, bed rest and taking things easy were not things that Pepper was accustom to and they certainly weren't easy things.

“You had a question,” she reminded him as they got into the elevator. Pepper had brought Happy and the girls along, so it wasn’t like she could ignore that many people IF she WAS overdoing it. 

“One that you could have easily responded by just picking up a phone or e-mailing,” Bruce told her. “I CAN handle things, I AM handling it. No drops in the stock—“

“I just need to see how everything is going for myself.”

“You really don’t NEED to be trying to run everything,” Happy told her. “You’re worrying too much—“

“It’s Mom,” Sophia interrupted.

Happy sighed and shook his head. “I remember how reliever I was when you started working for Tony. You could handle him and you kept him mostly in line…well, probably both of us…”

“Yes,” Pepper told him with a gentle smile.

“You took on a lot and I’m sure it has to be hard to let go of the control, but Pepper…you’ve got to.”

Charlie tugged her skirt. “We could go get ice cream,” Charlie suggested.

Happy pointed to the little girl. “She has a valid point there.”

“You DO realize that we could ave accessed all of the files from the house,” Bruce reminded. “The Stark Industries Server is still secure—“

“Okay, so maybe it’s more of an excuse to just get out of the house,” Pepper told them after a moment. All of this was just the distraction to keep from worrying about Tony. On the outside, she tried to seem like she had it all together, but on the inside…she was struggling. So much felt like it was solely on her shoulders.

“I have PLENTY of field trip ideas, Mommy,” Charlie told her.

“Fun ideas?” Happy asked. When Charlie nodded, he beamed and then looked up at Pepper. “See! Fun field trip ideas!”

It was just too hard to let go and there was so much that needed to be let go of. Pepper just wasn’t sure she could let any of it really go. It felt like she was letting down or betraying Tony in some way.

“We could go to the park,” Sophia spoke up.

The park.

Something so simple and so normal, it was something that the girls were so rarely able to do. Being a Stark meant that there were always cameras even when there was nothing to report. It was just how it was. 

“Okay,” Pepper finally gave in.

“Then we can go over things tonight,” Bruce said.

Pepper just nodded. It was just hard. No matter how many weeks passed. No matter how it should get better. No matter how it should get easier. It didn’t. No matter if she was able to track Tony or not, it was hard.

Where was he?

Why wasn’t he home?

When would he be coming back?

Would he ever?

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“You look good.”

It was something that Pepper heard all the time now. She was starting to think it was something that people were instructed to say. She felt huge even though she knew that she really wasn’t. “Thank you,” Pepper responded politely and with a smile.

“I hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” Natasha said. “It’s been a little while—“

“Did Tony send you?”

Natasha frowned. “No.” She was quiet for a moment. “And I think he’d be upset if he knew I was here…”

“Why?”

“He doesn’t want to feel like SHIELD is involving you.”

Pepper thought about that for a long moment. “That’s quite the opposite of what is happening,” she said. “This is probably the most distanced SHIELD has been from me since I first met Phil.”

“He’s just concerned.”

There was a brief moment of silence as Pepper let that thought wash over her. She still didn’t know what to think about everything. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be…how their lives were supposed to be. She was supposed to have her husband. If SHIELD was REALLY concerned, then they’d find the mystery person who almost killed her husband, so he could come home.

“I’m stressed and I’m having a hard time relaxing,” Pepper finally admitted. She thought that maybe if she was honest with Natasha, then maybe she’d tell Tony. Maybe he’d understand that it really was better for him to be home with her and the girls. That she needed him, even if he wasn’t the Tony that she’d married. Pepper knew that that Tony was inside of him, somewhere. “The girls try to help. Happy, I’m probably driving crazy…”

Natasha smiled a little. “I’m sure that’s not the case. Happy’s stronger—“

“No,” Pepper interrupted. “I’m definitely driving him nuts.” She sighed. “He tries to make everything as easy as possible and…and I just can’t do it… I can’t pretend that Tony’s going to be back any day…” Pepper paused. “I lie awake thinking about how Tony might not be here when our son is born…a son we haven’t even discussed a name for…” She paused again as she battled with emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. She didn’t want to crumble. She couldn’t. “I honestly don’t think I can have this baby and be a single mother to three children—”

“You’re not going to have to,” Natasha interrupted.

Pepper shook her head. In all honesty, she didn’t think that ANY person could assure her at this point. Probably not even Tony making that promise would make her believe it. “You can’t guarantee that.”

Natasha suddenly got extremely serious. “I promise you, Pepper, I WILL bring Tony back home to you and the kids.”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” Pepper told her quietly and sadly as she looked down. Her focus moved to her wedding ring and she couldn’t believe that this was where her life was. She supposed that she’d considered the fact that she could lose Tony as Iron Man, but never like this… This was so much harder than death. If he’d died, she’d grieve and struggle…but she’d know that he was gone… This… She didn’t know… No one could make promises about the outcome. 

She just wanted him to come home.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“JARVIS, can you just talk to me?” Pepper asked as she settled down in front of the armor on display. There was something soothing about it, even if it didn’t contain the Iron Man or War Machine suits currently. It was Tony’s domain and she was having such a hard time coping. She’d waited for the girls to go to sleep before allowing herself to break down. Pepper was fairly sure that Happy had noticed, but hadn’t said anything. Bruce definitely knew, she’d waved him off before he could ask about her tears as she’d made her way down into the workshop.

“Is there a specific topic you would like me to provide information on?” JARVIS’ perfect British voice questioned.

After talking to Natasha the day before, Pepper just didn’t feel like she had all the information. She knew that there was no good way to find out for sure that their ‘hack’ into the SHIELD’s systems was successful and to know for sure that they weren’t being fed data. Tony was up there on the helicarrier, so she knew it was completely possible. All she wanted was a sliver of hope. She didn’t think that it was that big of a thing to ask for. 

“Anything,” Pepper whispered before a sob overtook her.

Tony had taken her life that had once been complex only in terms of trying to keep Tony under control to this brave new adventure. When she signed on as his assistant, she never thought that their lives would become so entwined…that she’d miss him…or that she’d long for him…or even that her life would feel so incomplete without him. Pepper had never expected to WANT to be Rescue, to want to live a life as a hero…to live a life of adventure. They’d done so well balancing their life over the last couple of years. They’d managed Stark Industries, working with SHIELD, and their family pretty damn well as far as she was concerned. Now, with almost everything stripped from her, she was struggling. She had her children and she had Happy. That was pretty much it. Bruce was there at the house and running the company, but she didn’t feel like she could completely trust him. Bruce and Tony were too good of friends and Pepper knew that Bruce would easily try to protect her by keeping things from her.

“I could give you an oral history of my making.”

Pepper let out a little laugh. She actually wouldn’t mind just listening to that, but she wanted Tony right now. Unless it was narrated by Tony, she didn’t want to hear it. “Do you have audio of Tony?”

“Of course. What files would you like to listen to?”

“Are there any from when he was working on the Rescue armor?” 

“There are several.”

“Just play them all in chronological order,” Pepper commanded. 

Tonight, all she needed was to feel close to him. She needed him to be there, to feel like his arms were around her instead of her own hugging herself. Pepper closed her eyes, let the tears fall and just sat there with her arms wrapped tightly around herself as his voice started to fill the room.

“Okay, we’re going with Mark Sixteen-Sixteen,” Tony’s voice filled the workshop.

“Sir, may I remind you that the next sequential number would be—“ JARVIS went to correct.

“I know, I know,” Tony interrupted. “But this one is special. I’m designing this one for Pepper. The other suits are all numbered because they’re shots off of the original Iron Man design.” He paused for a moment. “Just go with it, JARVIS. Log it!”

“Mark Sixteen-Sixteen noted.”

“The tricky part is going to be how to test it without Pepper knowing about it.”

“You could always just inform Ms. Potts about this project.”

“Then it won’t be a surprise!” Tony argued. “And stop calling her Ms. Potts. We’re married. It’s Mrs. Stark.”

“Ms. Potts insists on me still referring to her as such.”

“Yeah, yeah…I see who you side with… Just remember who gave you life…” 

It wasn’t a lot, but it was comforting to Pepper. A small smile formed on her face as she continued to listen. It was almost lulling. She felt like she could possibly fall asleep just sitting there listening to Tony and JARVIS. It was like being able to imagine him working right there, just the sound of him.

Oh, how she missed the sound of his voice…

How she missed him babbling to himself.

How she missed so much.

Tony, come home.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	14. Getting Some Fresh Air

“You know, all you DO is work…and research.”

“What do you EXPECT me to do?”

“You KNOW what I expect, Tony,” Bruce argued. 

Tony sighed. “You know that I can’t do THAT!”

“You’re just hurting them…and yourself doing this…” Bruce said gently. “It’s not healthy…and you’re all just plain miserable.”

“Now,” Tony said as he turned to his friend. “Are you quite done with the daily lecture?”

Bruce was quiet for a moment. It was a long moment. “It’s been TEN weeks, Tony. I’m just saying to go see them. You don’t have to stay at the house… Just go and visit…” 

This was something that Bruce hadn’t been giving up on. It was hard for him. It was. He wanted to be there as much as Bruce kept pushing for him to return back to Malibu. Tony hated being away from Pepper and the girls. All that kept him there doing the work he was doing was that he told himself that really, this was what was the best for all of his girls… “I'm doing this for THEM, you know that.”

Tony knew that no one seemed to understand, but he wasn’t crazy. He was doing this for HIS family. Every moment of every day, he thought all about what they deserved. He also thought about what he was missing. 

Ten weeks.

Seventy days. 

One thousand six hundred and eighty hours. 

His mind could break it down further, but that just made him down right depressed. When he’d forced himself to sleep, he’d dwell on how much he’d screwed up and he’d pray that when it was all over…when he found what he was looking for…that he could find a way to make it up to all of them. That he could be the man, husband, and dad that they all deserved.

Pepper only had about a month left in her pregnancy and Tony was determined to be home before his son was born, which why he was digging deep and devoting all of his time and energy to looking for the mystery suit. Tony knew that Bruce didn’t approve of anything he was doing, but Tony was certain that he could prove that he was doing the right thing staying away.

“I’m close,” Tony insisted. “I’ve narrowed it down—“

“Tony, you’ve said the same thing before,” Bruce reminded. His tone was concerned more than anything else.

He knew that Tony wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he’d said this for some time now. He still believed it, though. He was getting close, Tony sighed and rubbed his face. “They just seem like they’re always five steps ahead of us…”

“Tony—“

“How’s Pepper?”

Bruce sighed. “She misses you.”

“But she’s okay?”

“As far as I can tell,” Bruce replied. “Ever since you left, she’s been different—“

“What do you mean ‘different’?” Tony demanded as he started to get worked up. “You haven’t said anything before—“

“She doesn’t trust the rest of us anymore,” Bruce confessed. He sighed deeply. “So now, she really won’t tell me anything. Things are different,” Bruce was silent. “She’s putting up walls, Tony.”

“You promised me you would make sure she and the kids were okay.”

“I’m doing the best I can do,” Bruce told him. “What they need is YOU.”

He needed to go home.

Soon.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Tony had needed to get out. He needed away from SHIELD and the lab. He had needed to feel like he was actually doing SOMETHING. He didn’t need to be idle in a lab. Right now, Tony was definitely doing something. 

He was tracking down the other suit.

It had been too long since he’d taken out the Iron Man armor. There was something almost cleansing about it. Even with all of the information on his screens, he still felt like he could think so much clearer. Things were suddenly taking focus.

SHIELD had tasked satellites to track the mystery suit and Tony was determined to find it. Whatever was the plan of the guy flying around in the other suit, he wasn’t worried about being seen. The suit, in fact, had been sighted worldwide. Those recent sightings are what had brought Tony out…as well as Natasha, who was following him one of those tiny SHIELD jets. Tony had tried to tell her that it wasn’t necessary, but he was fairly sure that people just didn’t trust him because he still wasn’t exactly the Tony that they remembered.

Maybe he would never be that man again.

It seemed like forever, but finally they found the suit. “Do you see it?”

“No,” Natasha responded. “It’s on my radar, though.”

“He’s out here,” Tony insisted.

“And what exactly are we going to do when we find him?”

Tony had been thinking about that moment for so long. “We take him in…we get our answers…”

“Yeah…that’ll work.”

“I never said it was going to be EASY.”

Natasha’s voice replied back, “I’m just wondering when you became so delusional.”

“Must have been all those times you knocked me around.”

“I was just knocking some sense into you,” Stark,” Natasha blew off. “I’m pretty sure any permanent damage you did to yourself down in one of your workshops.”

So, Tony was pretty sure that that was completely true. That didn’t change things, though. They were the closest they’d been since he’d originally been struck down by the mystery suit. He knew that it was possible that it was the ONLY chance he’d have to face that armor again and get the answers that he do desperately wanted. 

Suddenly his proximity alarm went off. It was then that Tony’s eyes finally took in the mystery suit. Tony took a moment as the suit stopped, maybe because of how close they were…or maybe because it wanted to finish him off… The suit’s design looked similar to his in some ways, but it looked too small. “JARVIS, you scanning this?”

“Already done,” JARVIS responded.

The other suit suddenly sped off and Tony followed without another thought. He had no idea where they were going, but Tony wasn’t going to let him get away. Or it. As the autopilot kept up as best as it could, Tony went over the latest information on the suit that JARVIS was feeding him.

“That guy is fast,” Natasha commented over comms. “Maybe TOO fast.”

“It might not be a guy,” Tony said as his mind raced as his brain crunched the information.

It was the middle of a desert when the suit finally landed and seemed to idle. At first, Tony kept his distance…waiting. He was hoping that maybe they’d been led back to a base of operations, but there was nothing for miles except for tiny nomadic villages. Tony was about to do another scan, a deeper one (looking for an underground facility), when the suit shot towards Natasha’s jet. Without thinking, Tony automatically reacted and returned fire. He wasn’t going to let this suit hurt anyone else. 

The suit didn’t stay in one place and Tony didn’t take that as any kind of sign, instead he took off after it again. Tony, though, wasn’t pleased and didn’t know what the suit’s endgame was as it opened fire in a nearby village. Tony tried to distract him and managed to save a few kids, but he couldn’t save everyone. 

Blood was spilling into the sand. 

Tony couldn’t get the suit to stop, so he put himself into the line of fire and focused his fire on the suit. All he could think about was Pepper and his children. How this suit could have been just as easily have been going after them…about protecting them from his unknown enemy as much as he was protecting these strangers that were innocents and just happened to be close by. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Natasha yelled through comms.

“Saving lives!”

“What about yours?”

“I brought back-up.”

Natasha, he thought, might have been playing it safe because of all of the innocent civilians around, but now she was firing away at the suit. It didn’t seem to help, though. Nothing that they were doing was stopping it…denting it…or even slowly it… 

“Armor strength dropping,” JARVIS’ voice interrupted. “Sixty-six percent and continuing.”

“Great,” Tony muttered. 

“This guy isn’t even fazed,” Natasha observed.

He’d noticed that as well. “That suit might not have a guy in it—“

“You mean like remote controlled?”

“Something like that.”

“Shouldn’t there be some kind of frequency we could interrupt—“

All of the sudden, the jet Natasha was in went down. Tony immediately started to panic, he was too far to assess the full brunt of the damage and whether or not Natasha had survived the hit and crash. The suit also wasn’t letting up on him. “JARVIS! Tell me she’s alive!”

“Armor strength at forty-three percent. At this rate—“ JARVIS automatically alerted him.

“JARVIS! Tell me what I want to know! Is Natasha okay?!”

Silence.

“JARVIS!” Tony snapped impatiently when the response wasn’t immediate.

“I am reading a life sign, Sir,” JARVIS finally responded. “Additional SHIELD units are already en route. They should arrive in fifteen minutes.”

Crap.

Fifteen minutes.

Tony didn’t know if he could last another five minutes. He looked at the remaining strength of that suit. He wasn’t going to make it, but he needed to make sure that the other suit didn’t finish things with Natasha. He knew that he needed something big to somehow make an affect on the suit. Some kind of tangible impact. Tony wasn’t sure if he could stop it or at this point, if there would ever be a way to get answers…

“Twenty-five percent.”

“I’m sorry, Pepper,” Tony mumbled as he stared at the picture of her on his display as he triggered his last ditch effort.

Tony just hoped it worked.

“I love you, Pepper.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	15. Like a Ghost

It was a day out.

“Mom! Mom! Look!” Charlie shouted.

“They have all the names and information in this booklet,” Sophia said excitedly.

It was more of an excuse to get out and even more to see the girls smiling again. It was difficult on every single one of them, but that didn’t mean that they needed to shut themselves away and isolate themselves from the world. Sophia and Charlie had been doing great, or at least they seemed to. It was clear to her that they still missed Tony, but how could they not? As intelligent as they both were, they just didn’t understand why he’d left.

Pepper didn’t understand either.

No matter if he remembered or not, he was still THEIR Tony. He belonged home with his family. Pepper just didn’t see doing God only really knew what could help bring his memories back better than being home around his family, his wife and his children.

“This is a bad idea,” Happy started to complain.

Instead of arguing with him, she just smiled. He only complained because it was something where Tony SHOULD be there with them. Happy was also more and more protective AND concerned about her as the due date got closer. “If you’re going to comment on how huge I am, you can just keep it to yourself,” she told him with a smile. 

“You’re thirty-eight weeks and I thought the doctor wanted you on bed rest.”

“Best rest and taking it easy are two different things,” Pepper reminded. Her doctor had told her to take it easy, but that she’d be on bedrest if there were any complications. “I just need to hydrate, snack, and rest when I need it.”

“We should have done this trip privately,” Happy said a moment later. 

It was clear to her when she looked over and saw the girls now, why Happy had made the comment. The girls were being swarmed. If they’d been adults, then she’d have immediately intervened (and Happy, too). The girls, though young, knew how to handle situations like that. Sophia kept her younger sister close, they signed aquarium booklets, took pictures, and politely excused themselves and moved towards where she and Happy were standing.

“They’re fine,” she told him after a moment. They moved slowly through the aquarium, all the while Pepper kept thinking that Tony would have loved that trip with the girls, they’d been before but every time was different. Sophia and Charlie were older now, the experience was just different.

When Sophia and Charlie finally were back with her and Happy, they moved into the aquarium. “How about we eat here at the—“

“You’re going to let us eat at The Reef?!?!?!?!” Charlie practically flailing and jumped up and down as they moved through the aquarium tunnel. 

The Reef was the restaurant on site, but Tony hated going there because people always stared and came up to them and he never felt like they were actually able to have a normal family meal. His solution was always to buy out the aquarium and The Reef for the day, but that, in Pepper’s mind really defeated being normal. The girls needed normal and they also needed to learn how to cope with being the children of Tony Stark. They could only shelter them from so much in the world. This helped them to learn how to handle it and how to still strive in the world. There was no doubt in Pepper’s mind that their children would one day be leaders in the world, this was teaching them strengths that they wouldn’t realize they would need until they were older…and handle life with grace.

“You sure?” Happy asked her.

Pepper just smiled at him, holding onto his arm as they walked. “You want to eat there as much as the kids do…”

“That’s just a lot of walking and—“

“And by then I’m going to be starving,” Pepper pointed out. “The Reef has a healthy menu. Better than stopping for fast food or rushing to make something at home.”

Happy seemed to process her words. “Yeah. Okay. That’s a valid point.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It was late. Actually, it was early morning. Everyone else was asleep in their beds. Not Pepper, though. She’d burst out into tears, clutching pillows. She missed Tony something fierce. It wasn’t just his presence, but it was his scent…his warmth…his ramblings. She missed Tony. There were things that she’d realized that just weren’t done that should have been done. Happy had tried to help her with those things, but she just felt like everything should be put on hold until Tony was back…she didn’t care if he was the same Tony. She just wanted her husband and partner back in her life.

Baby names.

The nursery.

Shopping.

None of it was done. Sure, they had some things for the nursery. It wasn’t like this would be the first baby. They had a cradle, a crib, and she was certain practically everything else. None of it was set up how it should be, though. It was common for women to go through nesting phases, to want to make the ‘nest’ ready for the baby…she wasn’t ready.

Where was Tony?

Why wasn’t he there?

She wasn’t a person that needed another to complete her, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t NEED her husband. They had two children and it was about to be three…they had a company to run…they had a marriage. She needed her partner in all of those things back. Pepper just didn’t want to feel like she was alone (even though she knew that wasn’t true). Doing it on her own was just not something she was prepared for or wanted to do. People did it all the time, she knew that…and she knew that she COULD, but she didn’t want to. 

Was that selfish?

Did she care?

Tony.

That’s all she wanted.

Tony being absent from her life or their children’s wasn’t something that they’d planned on. No matter how bad things got when he went out into the suit, he always came back. Pepper hadn’t even conceived of a world without him. Yet here she was, living in one. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Being in his workshop made her feel better. She missed his tinkering. There was no JARVIS and Tony arguing back and forth. It was quiet. Oddly enough, she didn’t like the quiet…especially not there. It just didn’t feel right. It was like the workshop was some kind of shell.

Empty.

Hollow.

Lonely.

Lifeless.

The suits that normally took up residence there weren’t even housed on display like she was so used to. The suits… Tears fell down her cheeks as she thought about all of the times she’d asked Tony to scale back his obsession over creating the perfect suit of armor. Right now, she didn’t care if he had the Marks all over the mansion. She would have it all, if only that meant that he was home.

Home.

It didn’t quite feel like home.

Not without Tony.

Anger hit her suddenly. She’d been angry at Tony plenty of times, especially back when she was his assistant…before they were married. Tony Stark was a genius that she’d swore sometimes specialized in angering and frustrating people. As she looked around, there wasn’t even a feeling of Tony there. That pissed her off and she knew that it shouldn’t. All of the times that she’d begged him to keep the space clean, even IF it was HIS space…now it just upset her. She wanted to see pieces of him scattered around the workshop under their home. 

Pepper moved to a bin and tried to set things out on a table, trying to make it look like Tony had been there. She just wanted to feel SOME connection to her husband. It killed her that she didn’t feel connected to him anymore. 

Their children. 

Their home. 

The company (which she couldn’t even work at right now). 

Those were the only connections she felt to Tony anymore. As she stared at the mess of Tony’s things that she’d made on the table, it just made her more upset. Her chest heaved as a sob escaped her, racking her entire body. She braced herself, hands on the table. Pepper allowed herself to break down. About halfway through a sob, she started to panic a bit. A rather loud gasp escaped her lips. 

Still.

Quiet.

Waiting.

A small cry escaped her lips as another jab of pain hit her. It wasn’t like normal pain, though. She knew this pain. It was a contraction. She wasn’t ready for labor. It wasn’t time. Tony wasn’t there. “Oh God,” she whispered as she squeezed her eyes shut. Her feet stepped apart a bit to ground her in place as she tried to calm herself down and attempt to wish away the labor. “Not now… Not yet…”

False labor, she tried to tell herself.

Still.

Quiet.

Waiting.

The contraction still came. Then the next. Another. Another. Pepper knew that they were close enough that she needed to be concerned. One thing she knew for sure, that baby was not going to be born in that shell of a workshop. All she wanted, though, was Tony. 

“JARVIS?” she whispered.

“Shall I call for an ambulance or for—“

“Just get Happy!” Pepper told him quickly before trying to wish the contractions away once again. She’d been having them off and on for some time. This was her third baby. She knew what to do, but she just wasn’t ready. How COULD she be ready? 

Tony.

Come home.

Please.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	16. Memories

It wasn’t the pain that woke him.

It wasn’t JARVIS’ voice.

It wasn’t the beeping.

It was the nightmare that jarred him back into the reality that he was in. He couldn’t let go of the mystery suit. He couldn’t let go of that life that was his, but felt like someone else’s…the one that he found himself longing for. Tony had seemed to have been somehow reset to pre-Iron Man age Tony, but really…the REAL him (the one with a wife and kids) was battling to get back. He could feel it and he didn’t want to fight that. 

His systems were going wacky and the HUD was erratically flashing. It was then that he realized he wasn’t even sure what was happening. He was on the ground, staring up at the sky. How had he gotten there? WHY was he there? 

The memories of what had happened hit him all at once. Hard with enough force to push him farther into the ground. His heart pounded so hard and fast, he could hear each beat in his ears and he felt like it was going to pop out of his chest. Panic was taking over and Tony wasn’t sure that there was going to be any way to get around it.

The desert.

Blood in the sand.

This wasn’t the first time.  Natasha had been in the little jet and they’d been under attack. The mystery suit had been after them. The suit had seemed like it was on some kind of mission to kill them both. He remembered worried about Natasha. That it had taken JARVIS some time to tell him that there was a life sign, that SHIELD back-up was on their way. It seemed like they were always doing this same dance. Weeks ago, the story had been the same. He hadn’t passed out that time and Natasha had walked away from that jet crash landing. He just hoped that she was as lucky this time.

Fifteen minutes.

No matter what he hit the suit with, it didn’t do anything. He got himself up and looked around. How long had it been? The suit was heavy. It wasn’t normally heavy. “JARVIS, give me an update.”

“Armor currently at eleven percent,” JARVIS reported. 

As he looked around, he didn’t see back-up or the suit. This was getting old. This was the twelfth time in the last couple of weeks where they’d had a run in with the suit. It seemed like it was getting more daring and possibly like it was trying to bait them to come out. The jarring thing was that whoever was in the suit or remotely controlling it didn’t seem to care about the innocent lives that were either extinguished or endangered. If they wanted to have some kind of face off, then Tony was ready…he was done playing games.

“How long was I out?”

“Twelve minutes, Sir.”

Twelve.

Out of nowhere, his suit started to light up and beep with warnings. Before Tony could even take in what was going on, he was hit…being thrown several yards away. He landed near the jet and was thankful when he could SEE Natasha. She was unconscious, but he could see her chest rise and fall. 

“SHIELD units are nearby, Sir,” JARVIS chirped up.

“How much longer?” Tony asked.

“Armor at seven percent, Sir.”

“How much longer?!”

He got up and turned towards the suit, only to find that it was gone. Vanished. Like it had never been there. Was it really gone or was it hiding once again? The armor suit down suddenly and unexpectedly. Tony blinked for a moment, and tried to weigh his options. It was clear, that if this suit really wanted them dead…it would have done it by now. The suit opened up and fell backwards into the sand as he stepped out. Tony didn’t wait another moment before moving towards the downed jet. 

SHIELD agents showed up, but Tony didn’t stop to talk to them. His only concern was for the feisty unconscious redhead. Getting into the jet was easier than he’d thought. Of course, he was a genius. He was Tony Stark! He’d still surprised himself. Maybe it was his determination. He didn’t remember Natasha Romanoff, not from his life before…well, he forgot everything, but she’d grown on him over the months. 

“Don’t move,” Tony told her as she started to stir. He was trying to unstrap her, but really didn’t think that jostling her around was the best move. The jet didn’t exactly have air bags and crunch space. “What kind of safety rating does this thing have?” he joked.

Natasha let out a small puff of a laugh, but didn’t open her eyes. “Crap…don’t make me laugh,” she half complained in a pained whisper. A smile was still on her lips, though.

“Do me a favor and open your eyes so I know you’re not dying,” Tony asked quietly. He found himself filled with immense concern. So much so that he didn’t know how to really justify it. It was like she was family. He knew that everyone had basically told him as much and he’d seen pictures of himself and his family with all of these people…but the memories just weren’t sliding into place. Shouldn’t the memories slide into place? 

Broken.

God, he felt broken.

Was he fixable?

That was the REAL question. 

Her smile only seemed to brighten before her eyelids slowly lifted to reveal her bright blue eyes. “Hey…what’s a girl got to do around here to get a rescue?”

“I thought that’s what I was doing,” Tony told her and returned the smile.

“No suit?”

Tony shrugged. “It might be broken.”

“It’s a good look.”

“I feel sort of naked.”

Natasha laughed again and then immediately groaned. “I think you’ve forgotten the definition of naked.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Getting updates from people wasn’t the same as knowing that Pepper was okay, but right now it was all he had. He wasn’t ready to go back, not quite yet. His heart was twisting, though, at the knowledge that Pepper had been hospitalized. Bruce and Happy were there, taking care of Pepper and of the kids. That didn’t make him feel better though.

He hovered outside of the house, over the ocean, just staring at it. 

Home.

It was what he longed for.

“Sir, incoming suit.”

“Mystery suit?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Let’s get Rhodey and SHIELD involved,” Tony said quickly and with one last glance, moved away from the Stark Malibu Mansion and further over the ocean. He didn’t want to draw attention to his home or family. 

“Sir, they’re on their way,” JARVIS chirped up.

On their way.

“How much time do I have?”

“None.”

And JARVIS had been right. The suit appeared and he was thankful that he’d had time to do complete repairs and even some upgrades on the set of armor he was wearing since the last time he’d encountered the mystery suit. “I’m just saying this now…if Romanoff shows up in a jet and that thing takes it down again…I’m not going to let her live it down.” When JARVIS didn’t speak back to him on that subject, he just grumbled. The original JARVIS. It was better. God, he missed his friend. 

“Let’s do this,” Tony said.

Gunshots were reflected off of the mystery armor right before Tony could charge the other suit. “Were you really going to start this without me?” Rhodey asked.

Smirking, Tony just started to blast at the suit. “Well, normally everyone takes their own sweet damn time.”

“Just paint us all in the same box!”

It wasn’t long before they were joined by what seemed like everything SHIELD had available that could fly and shoot. “Are we talking or shooting at this thing?” Clint’s voice came.

Even though they didn’t seem to be making a dent in the thing, Tony felt better about it. “Anyone want to drop the Hulk on that thing? Maybe he can crumple it up or something,” Tony talked, mainly just to talk as he continued to concentrate his weapons on the mystery suit.

“You don’t think we can do it without Banner?” Natasha asked over comms.

“Maybe Thor, too? You guys stop by Asgard on your way over?” Tony shot back. He was suddenly wondering if that’s really what they needed. It wasn’t just the weapons power or strategy, but the pure raw uninhibited strength of the Hulk or the power of Thor’s hammer. 

He was getting cocky. He liked to think that they were all feeling it. The suit didn’t stand a chance against them all. It was practically a SHIELD armada. Tony was half shocked that the helicarrier didn’t come into view with Nick Fury and Maria Hill leading the charge. Okay, so maybe he really was getting a bit too cocky. 

The suit attacked him. 

It wasn’t a shot. It was a full on tackle type of move. Instead of hitting ground, though, and skidding until they came to a stop…they plunged down into the ocean. Neither one of them gave up the fight. Klaxons went off inside of the suit and water suddenly came rushing in, Tony didn’t know what was happening. It wasn’t a lot of water, but it was enough to know that at least one of his seams was compromised. 

The armor hit the ocean floor hard, his head yanked backwards and he found his head rattling around inside of the helmet. Blinking wildly, the suit was repeatedly shoving him down into the seafloor. Behind the suit, though, he saw that help was on its way.

Help.

Water continued to fill his suit and in that position, he found that it was filling his helmet now. The repeated motion was whipping his head back and forth too much and Tony felt like he was going to pass out. The edges of his vision fading to black and his head becoming light. 

Please.

Not like this.

Pepper.

Sophia.

Charlie.

The baby.

Home.

Home, not just the building. Home meant so many things. To him, though, it was the life that he was longing for…a life with Pepper, Sophia, Charlie, and their son. It meant arguing with his JARVIS, the real one that talked back and took Pepper’s side and still called her ‘Ms. Potts’. Hanging out with Happy and complaining about ‘Downton Abbey’, but secretly loving it. 

Pepper. 

His beautiful girls.

Anger coursed through him and Tony found himself fighting back, no matter how full the suit was of water or how it looked like the HUD was about to go down. Tony launched himself upward, screaming as he did so. Nothing was going to stop him. He wouldn’t allow this armor to slow him. 

Pepper.

He remembered.

He remembered everything.

Nothing was going to stop him. Not this suit. Not all of the months he’d wasted away from his family. Nothing was going to keep him from completing this mission, this was IT, no more…no further. Tony was determined that THIS was the last stand. He wouldn’t waste anymore time on the copy in front of him. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Nothing in the world could stop him.

They’d taken down the mystery suit only to find that it was a useless shell. SHIELD was taking it back to lock it up and examine it, but Tony didn’t want to have anything to do with it. He’d wasted too much time in the past months. Someone else could try to decode and hack into it. 

Pepper was in labor.

Definite labor.

So, he was racing there, trying to make it on time. He’d been filled in by Bruce about what was going on. The baby was positioned oddly and with all of the stress she’d been under, so Pepper was going to have the baby via c-section. Only one person could be in there with her and he’d been told that Pepper told them that it was him or no one. If he could manipulate time and space, he would be there (well, he wouldn’t have ever left…he would have gone back and kept himself from leaving in the first place). 

So much time had passed.

So much missed.

He remembered and though for so long he’d thought that that was really the most important thing to him. The thing that defined him. The thing that took precedent over his life, he realized in those moments that he’d been all wrong. 

Tony wasn’t sure what was more of a blur…the fight, the flight, or the dash to change and get into the special birthing room before the doctor started. He’d already been told by basically everyone since he stepped foot in the hospital (and in truth, Tony was well aware) that babies don’t like to be told what to do…they come when they come. Children were a force of nature, no matter the age. 

“Tony!” 

He looked over as a nurse was escorting him to where he needed to go. Happy and Bruce were there and though he expected Happy to come up and punch him, they both looked happy. “Who’s taking care of my girls?” he asked suddenly. 

“Nat,” Bruce spoke up. “She just texted me that she’s relieved the babysitter and bringing them over.”

“Come along, Mr. Stark,” the nurse said.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about the girls being at the hospital, but all he really COULD think was that it had been TOO long since he’d seen and been with his family. Sophia and Charlie, what they must think of him. He couldn’t focus on that, Tony knew that, right now Pepper needed him. He was practically pushed into the room and then immediately shoved into place. He’d been told before he’d even been handed scrubs that he was to stand RIGHT where they said he could stand and no place other than that. So, he kept still.

“Tony!” 

Tears were running down her beautiful face and even though she looked like she’d been having a breakdown, she was absolutely the most perfect and gorgeous person in the world to him. “I’m sorry I’m late,” he whispered and leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. “I’m here, though…and I’m never leaving you or the kids again.” She reached up, her hand snaking along his.

“Nice of you to make it, Mr. Stark,” the doctor said from behind the little curtain that they had erected in order to hide the surgery they were performing. 

“We haven’t thought of names,” Pepper brought up.

“I haven’t done anything I should have,” Tony told her. “It can’t be harder than with Sophia, right? At least we know how to swaddle. I’m pretty sure I can still do that in my sleep.” Sophia had been their first and it had been quite an eye opening experience. Tony had been happy to have that experience, though, no matter how hard it had been. 

“Tony?”

“I’m here…I really am, Pep,” he whispered with a bright smile and awkwardly kissed her lips. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

“You two better start thinking of names because this baby’s going to be here in a few minutes,” the doctor said. 

They didn’t talk about names, though. Pepper held Tony’s hand and they just stared at each other with bright smiles. They had what they needed. A name could be chosen later. That could wait. Right now, all that mattered was Pepper and their baby (and of course their family). 

“Congratulations…it’s still a boy,” the doctor announced with a smile.

It was a couple of more minutes before the nurse brought their brand new son and set him across Pepper’s chest for them both to see. “He’s beautiful,” Pepper whispered.

“He just needs a name,” Tony said as he leaned down and kissed Pepper and then their son’s forehead. They’d figure it out, they always did.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	17. Happy Moments

Was there a word for a state beyond happiness? 

If so, whatever word it was, that was where Pepper was. Her son was born and he was healthy and beautiful and perfect. That wasn't all, though, Tony was there… Tony was back. HER Tony. She'd had so many reasons to be upset with him, but she'd been unable to. All of it had been forgotten and all she could focus on was how incredibly overjoyed she was to have her family HOME and TOGETHER. 

"Not after my father," Tony put out there.

It wasn't like it was the first time they'd ever discussed baby names. They'd done it with Sophia and Charlie. They'd taken the time to go over both female and male names both times. This time, though, they just hadn't gotten around to it. The girls both had family names. Sophia's middle name was Maria, after Tony's mother. Charlie's middle name was Virginia, after her...which was something that Tony had insisted on (especially since no one ever called her Virginia). So, it seemed fitting if their son carried a family name as well. 

"No Howard at all?" Pepper questioned. 

Tony shrugged. "I always liked Ethan."

Pepper smiled. Ethan had been the name that they'd both loved before they'd found that Sophia was a girl and not a boy. "How about Ethan Howard?"

"Are you sure?"

"I was sure before we knew we were having a girl...I still think it's a great name for a boy," Pepper told him. In all honesty, any name she would love. Her son was perfect and healthy and that was all that really mattered. 

"I know we're not ready at home, but--"

"I'm not worried about it," Pepper said. She was absolutely beaming. All the months before, she had fussed about it, but now...now she didn't care. It would all work out. The baby really wouldn't NEED that much set up when they DID get home. 

"But I am…" Tony told her gently. "But I promise you...everything will be in place by the time you and the baby get home."

"Ethan," Pepper corrected as she reached out and touched his face. 

"Ethan," he repeated with a smile. He paused for a moment before continuing, "Happy already has the car seat installed and he said that you already had bought some of the basic supplies."

"It's going to be just fine. You'll see."

Tony suddenly looked worried. "Are you sure I should go?"

With Tony back, he'd already spent two days at the hospital with her and though the girls had visited...she was basically monopolizing him. So, they'd discussed him going home, so that Happy and the others weren't the ones watching the girls. Sophia and Charlie needed time with their dad, especially before they brought Ethan home. 

"I'm sure," she told him. "I'll be fine."

"Nat said that she'd come by and hang out, if you wanted."

"I don't really want anyone going to any trouble--"

"I really don't want to leave you here alone with Ethan and nobody to help you."

He was obviously feeling guilty. She'd thought that she'd beaten that out of him. Pepper just smiled at him and reached out to touch his face. "Sweetheart, that's what the NURSES are for…"

"No," Tony half argued and half seemed surprised. "Don't they just sit out there and answer the phones?"

Pepper sighed. "You know that they ARE helpful."

"When we had Sophia--"

Years ago when they had Sophia, she got saddled with the worst nurse for the first day and ever since then, Tony's never trusted another nurse. "Nurse Angela is on duty and assigned to just Ethan and I," Pepper explained gently. Nurse Angela was the nurse that she'd been assigned after they'd complained with Sophia. Now, Pepper contacted the hospital ahead of time and gave them her due date and made sure they knew that she wanted Nurse Angela assigned to her. The nurse had gone above and beyond and Pepper was just comfortable with her, there was also the added bonus that she seemed really good at dealing with Tony. With Sophia (and even Charlie), she'd even offered to drop in or do in-home if she needed it. "You don't have to worry."

"I'm going to worry," Tony told her before leaning in for a kiss, her hand still on his cheek.

Pepper smiled into the kiss and when they finally separated, she whispered against his lips. "I know...and I love you for it."

"And here I thought you married me because of my money and brains," Tony teased as he pulled away.

Beaming, Pepper shook her head. "I am pretty sure that it was because I'm the only one who can handle you."

"I don't need to be handled."

"Oh, you need to be handled."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It had been quiet, not that she didn't love Tony...she did, but he'd started to fuss so much before Nurse Angela finally kicked him out and told him to go on home. Baby Ethan so far was being such a quiet little one. She'd been told to nap while the baby slept, but she just found herself lying there awake thinking about Sophia and Charlie. 

"Mom!"

"Mom!"

There was a lot of usage of that word in the maternity wing of the hospital, but those voices were her precious girls. She heard them before she saw them. Pepper smiled wide and though she wanted to sit up, she knew that it was better if she just lay there and wait for them to come to her. "Hi my precious girls," she said and realized how sleepy and out of it she sounded. She didn't care. Seeing the bright, happy faces of her girls was all she needed in that moment. 

"We're going to SLEEP OVER," Charlie said excitedly and was immediately bouncing.

"Shhh," Sophia scolded her younger sister. "The baby is sleeping."

"His name is Ethan," Pepper told Sophia with a smile. 

"It sounds weird."

"You'll get used to it."

"I voted for us to name him something cool," Charlie said. "Like Asimov or Verne or Wells...or maybe Hedwig."

Pepper let out a laugh. "I promise you...you will learn to love your brother's name." She watched as the girls moved towards where the bassinet was with their sleeping brother on the other side of the bed. They were curious and seeing a baby in person was something completely different than seeing a picture. 

"Do you think he'll like robots?" Charlie asked.

This was something that her youngest daughter had worried about for some time. Charlie didn't want this baby to take her place, not in the family...her interests...or how she was close to Tony. "Maybe when he's older...but that's going to be a long time...and I'm sure YOU will be the one to teach him how to put things together and all about robots." The girls just quietly looked at Ethan and that was when Pepper realized something.

Tony.

Where was Tony?

The girls were there, but she'd not seen anyone else. Tony was supposed to be home with them, spending time with them. She'd not seen Happy or Bruce or Natasha or anyone else that she'd trust her children with. Taking a breath, she looked to the girls again. "Where's your father?"

"Probably arguing with the nurse still," Sophia responded without looking back at her.

Pepper sighed. Did she REALLY want to know WHY? There could be so many reasons why he was doing it. "About?"

"He brought a wagon into the hospital with stuff in it and this one nurse started to flip out," Sophia rattled off.

Charlie was nodding her head. "And then he was doing the whole 'Do you know who I am? I'm Tony Stark' thing he does."

If security was called, then it was called she decided. She knew that she shouldn't stress, but sometimes her husband could be such a child. This was why she was always at his side at public events. Pepper shook her head and looked up at the ceiling, reminding herself that everything was going to be okay. Tony would argue with the nurse and then eventually do whatever he needed to do so that he could come to the room with them. 

Several minutes later, Tony was being escorted into the room by Nurse Angela. The nurse was obviously not pleased with him and Pepper didn't miss that he was definitely pulling one of the collapsible wagons they had and it was overfilled with things. "Mr. Stark has decided that he's going to interrupt the peace and calm of this room...I told him that I don't think it's a wise idea. We don't know if little Ethan will be up screaming all night or not."

"I just thought it would be nice if we all slept over," Tony explained. "I brought air mattresses and everything...and Happy said that he'd bring us anything that we needed."

Pepper knew that Tony was trying to do the right thing...for them all. She knew that Nurse Angela was right. They hadn't planned this, but watching them all, she realized that maybe this was exactly what they all needed. She was in a private suite anyways. It was definitely a big enough space for enough air mattresses without obstructing walkways or it just being too crowded. "Maybe we need this."

Nurse Angela just nodded. "As long as you're okay with it. I know how this one gets," she commented as she tilted her head in Tony's direction.

"How do I get?" Tony asked.

Pepper just smiled. "Let's get things set up and try to settle things down before they somehow vote you out."

"But I'm To--"

"Tony Stark, we know!" the girls said together and looked back at him.

"And we're so glad that you're truly back with us," Pepper told him with so much love. 

"There's no place I'd rather be," Tony told her with the brightest smile.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	18. Too Much To Live For

TWO WEEKS LATER

 

The nursery had been neglected, which wasn't a huge deal since the baby was sleeping in a cradle in Tony and Pepper's room anyways. It was just nice to have it done and sometimes be able to lay the baby down to sleep if Pepper was sleeping or if the baby needed to be rocked. It was just NICE to have it done. Tony hadn't realized how much having a nursery was helpful until they came home and didn't have one. Sure, they had everything they ABSOLUTELY needed, but it just wasn't the same. And maybe he was just making up for the months that he was the worst human being in the world. Whatever it was, Tony was determined to get this project done.

"Why did you have the room painted this color?" Sophia asked him.

Tony looked from Sophia to the painted walls and then back to his eldest again. "Why? What's wrong with it? It's the color your mom wanted."

"Oh-kay…"

He looked at the wall again. He swore that was the color Pepper had wanted and she hadn't SAID anything after it was painted. Tony had had some kind of super duper non-smelly paint used and then they'd added clear vanilla just to ensure that the room wouldn't reek from the paint or contaminate the rest of the house as well. 

"I don't get what's wrong with it," Tony mumbled.

"I like it, Daddy," Charlie spoke up.

He reached out and rubbed Charlie's head, moving the cap upon her head about a bit. She giggled in response. "That's my girl."

"You're not supposed to have favorites…" Sophia pointed out from the other side of the room.

Tony pushed the assembled crib into place. There was a drawing of what was supposed to go where and he was determined to have it all finished before dinner. The girls were in there and were supposed to be helping them. So far, they were just making him question everything. "I didn't say favorites…"

"You said that Charlie's 'your girl'."

"And you're my princess," Tony told her. He looked over to see Sophia considering that as she worked on arranging the clothes in the dresser. They'd received so many gifts, so they had been unpacking them...they had already washed all of the items that needed to be washed before use and now they were putting it all away. One thing that he'd noticed is that Sophia really liked to keep drawers neat and organized...just like Pepper. So, he let her do the job that she wanted and that he knew she'd be good at.

"What if I want to be a princess?" Charlie asked him.

"You can be whatever you want, Charlie. You know that," Tony reminded her as he watched her arrange books on the bookshelf. Every couple of books, she'd thumb through a few pages before putting them back. "If you want to be a princess. We'll support it. If you want to be a rocket scientist...hell, what am I saying? You're pretty much already there."

Charlie just laughed in response.

As he stood there, Tony had no idea how he could ever make up for all of those months that he was gone. All he knew was that he never wanted to leave them again. All he knew was that he needed to be the man that they all saw him as. That was a lot to live up to. He'd spend every day of his life trying, though.

"How are you all doing?" Pepper asked.

He turned around to see her leaning against the door frame. She was absolutely beautiful even though she looked absolutely exhausted. He assumed that since she was there without Ethan that that meant that he'd finally fallen asleep. "Apparently Sophia doesn't think it's the right wall color."

"It's not."

"You didn't say anything before…"

Pepper just smiled and crossed the room to him. "It's a few shades off...it's not that big of a deal...and you TRIED...that's really all that matters," she told him before kissing him.

Distracted for a moment by her kiss, he found himself melting a bit. When they finally separated, he spoke again. "I can have it repainted." He wanted to make sure that everything was right and correct.

"No. No...it's good. I think it makes it brighter."

Watching her, he tried to gauge if she was really okay with it. To him, she really seemed to be happy with it. He was glad. "We almost have it all done. I have to move the rocker and the ottoman and then put the bedding on the bed."

"I can do the bedding," Pepper told him.

"You're not supposed to be lifting anything except the baby," Tony reminded.

Pepper just smiled at him. "I don't think that a crib sheet is heavier than Ethan."

"You sure? Because I can do it...it might not go on right, but then Sophia will fix it and tell me how I was doing it wrong."

"I can't help it that I know how to do things," Sophia spoke from the other side of the room. "Or that I know how mom wants things."

She was right.

Man, she was growing up so fast.

Tony took a moment to remember how it was for Sophia and Charlie, when they'd brought them home. Things were so different now. It seemed like just yesterday that they'd gotten married… Time passed so quickly and as much as he liked to think he KNEW that life was precious and that time was fleeting, he realized then that he needed to take more time and enjoy the little moments in life because they wouldn't always be there.

He moved to move the rocker into place. "Maybe I should anchor some of these things to the wall," Tony suggested as he looked around. There was a low bookshelf, a changing table, a dresser, and a nine cube square thing that held toys. They lived in Malibu, California and earthquakes suddenly worried him.

"You do realize that nothing is actually anchored in this house."

"That's not true," Tony argued. "I have the cases that hold the suits anchored to the walls…"

Pepper already had the entire set of bedding put together for the crib and she was looking at him. "And how did that work out for you when a missile was launched at the house?"

He stood there and thought about it for a moment. "Point taken."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It was the middle of the night when Ethan's cries woke him. Tony felt Pepper stirring, but he was out of bed first and over to the cradle to scoop him up. He managed to quiet him before Pepper could even sit up.

"I've got him," Tony told her. "You sleep."

"But--"

"I know where the extra milk is," Tony assured.

"He might not take the bottle."

"If he doesn't, then I'll get you," he told her as he walked towards her and then pressed against her forehead. "Just try to sleep...I've got him." With that, he headed out of the bedroom. Ethan started to fuss again. Tony tried to hush him, but that only seemed to piss him off more. "I'm working on it," Tony told him. 

Pepper was breast feeding and she'd pumped some extra and Tony was fairly sure he still knew how to do it all and where they'd put the bottles (since he was fairly sure that possible both Pepper and Sophia had rearranged everything after he'd put things away). It took him a couple of minutes, but he had figured it out and gotten Ethan to calm down and take the bottle. Sitting hadn't worked, however, which was really fine with Tony. He was preferred to walk, even if it was back and forth, he always felt like there was less chance of him falling asleep and smothering his poor son. Pepper had made him go to new parenting classes before they had Sophia and they'd basically been given a run down of all the things you COULD do, but that you could also potentially murder your kids...ever since then...Tony had been terrified. 

Co-sleeping.

What position the baby slept in.

Blankets. 

No blankets.

No moving rails on the crib.

No bumper pads.

There was a lot of things you could do to kill your kid, let alone everything you had to worry about when it came to things you couldn't really control like SIDS. They'd lived in absolute terror with Sophia for the first year, getting up to check on her every five minutes...until Tony had come up with a monitor. There were monitors out on the market, but they were bulky. This one was a lot like a patch or a bandaid and through JARVIS would alert them and emergency services if the child stopped breathing. That had really eased things, but that didn't stop him and Pepper from still getting up to check on their kids while they slept through the night.

Eventually they made their way down to Tony's workshop. He really just didn't want to wake anyone up by walking around upstairs between the rooms. Ethan had been fairly quiet, but he just didn't want to risk it. Plus, then he could tell him all about all of his projects...and possibly even get some work done. 

"Sir, Ms. Potts is awake," JARVIS alerted him some time later.

Ethan had drifted off to sleep over thirty minutes before, but Tony had been working at a console with one hand and had just not been ready to stop just yet. "Let her know where we are," Tony said as he continued to bounce a bit in place, ensuring that Ethan would remain asleep. He didn't want Pepper to worry. 

"I already have."

"Excellent."

He wasn't surprised. JARVIS seriously liked Pepper more than him. He didn't know how or when it had all happened, but it had. If he and Pepper ever got divorced...he'd somehow lose the AI he'd created along with everything else. 

It was a few minutes before he heard the near silent footfalls from a bare footed Pepper. It helped that he knew that she was coming down or else she would have completely surprised him. He was certain that it was something that Natasha had taught her when she'd been working undercover as their assistant. 

"Is he asleep?" she whispered.

He turned around to see her wrapped up in her robe and looked rather sleepy. Her hair was up in a messy bun and he swore she looked a bit too pale. She wasn't getting enough sleep, which was expected, but at the same time...he really was trying to pitch in to help in that area where he could. "Yeah...I just was--"

"Working?"

"I got caught up in this project," Tony admitted. He displayed the holographic representation of what he'd been working on. There shouldn't be secrets between them. Never again. Everything he did in life, it was for Pepper and their children. He knew that he needed to keep proving to them and to himself that he was really the man that THEY saw. He just hoped that he could be good enough to live up to it.

Displayed was a sort of pod. All of the notes were displayed as well. "This is for the kids," Pepper commented slowly. She'd been around his work enough to understand it and sometimes it surprised him at how WELL she DID understand it. Then he always reminded himself that he wasn't the smartest man in the world at EVERYTHING. 

"It's an emergency pod," Tony explained. "Like the armor, but to keep the kids safe…" He brought up a series of pods. "I thought about making a bunch of different sizes. They would be able to be remotely activated and would be sequenced to specific DNA."

"Are you worried about another attack on the house?" Pepper questioned seriously and her gaze turned to him.

Tony looked down at the tiny baby he was holding in his arms. "I just want to be prepared...there are obviously things in this world...strange things...and beyond...things that we're not always prepared for...and I don't ever want to lose you or the kids… I want to make sure that you're all protected."

"So...this would be like the suits?" Pepper asked. "They could be summoned to the child?"

"Yes," Tony confirmed. "Either one of us could enact the protocol or I could even code it so that JARVIS could activate it as well," he explained. "JARVIS monitors the house and everyone inside...he would KNOW when to deploy them." He was really quiet for a long time. "I hope that these never have to be used...but...at the same time...it would be nice to have that piece of mind… Tony Stark and Iron Man have far too many enemies in this world...and outside of it… The least I can do is ensure that my legacy is preserved, even if I am not…"

Pepper just stared at him for a long silent moment. Her face was serious and he was awaiting some kind of lecture. He wasn't sure which one was coming, but it was definitely a serious enough face for lecturing. No lecture came though. Eventually her face softened and she shut down the project and the console he'd been working on. "Let's go to bed," she whispered.

"But--"

"You can save the world tomorrow, Tony."

"I don't want to save the world, Pep," he told her with a sigh and then wrapped his free arm around her and guided her towards the steps. "I just want to be a good husband and father."

"You can do that, too, but you need the sleep...and I need you in bed with me."

"Four more weeks, Pep," he reminded with a slight groan. He grinned almost as quickly as she did and it earned him a slap on his free arm. "I'm just kidding… THAT can wait…"

"I just want to know that you're here with me...that you're home...I don't like waking up and you not being here," Pepper explained as they continued up the stairs.

"I'm not going anywhere…"

"You better not."

"I have too much to live for right here."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The End.


End file.
